Tuesday, November 1, 2011
hiatus
Ye olde blog is on hiatus until grad school finishes eating my life. See y'all in a couple months!
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Emmys 2011 Ceremony Liveblog
7:59 – Pinot in hand. It's a $9 bottle with a real cork so I'm feeling UNDERSTANDABLY fancy. Let's get to the show!
8:00 – All right, let's see if this opening sequence lives up to Lynch's promises... It starts out a bit weird. Jane Lynch does have a good singing voice though.
8:02 – Asian jokes!
8:04 – RON SWANSON. They really do have a ton of actors involved in this shindig.
8:06 – Okay the Mad Men bit was good. Also, "A world where high school students look 24."
8:09 – "Try doing that in triple Spanx." PREACH.
8:10 – Brian is immediately not amused by the singing intro sextet.
8:12 – I, however, really like the montage of comedy shows. Number 1, because they showed a bunch of 30 Rock and Number 2, because (nearly) ALL MONTAGES ARE AWESOME. Oooh two sips in and the mad caps are starting. This might get crazy.
8:16 – Jane Lynch said they were doing some things differently this year, and I guess the voiceover man providing interesting facts about the winner is an example of that? I hope that becomes awesome later if RON SWANSON wins.
8:19 – Can someone explain why no dude from 30 Rock or Parks and Recreation was nominated for supporting dude?!?
8:28 – I've been checking up on the tweets from the evening. Check out @TomandLorenzo for some great pictures of the dresses so far. Ricky Gervais was funny but since I don't watch Modern Family regularly, I'm bored of them sweeping the awards so far.
8:30 – WHAT. I think I must have missed Zoey Deschanel during one of the NFL breaks. She looks exactly like one of those Barbie doll cakes where its just a giant skirt with the doll shoved into it.
8:31 – Modern Family AGAIN what???
8:40 – Charlie Sheen shut up. God. EVERYONE in the world is over you.
8:43 – I'm glad someone who isn't on Modern Family won. Jim Parsons both seems and looks adorable (yes, those are distinctly different things) and he is rocking that tux despite his obvious nerdstyle.
8:45 – YES. Finally something hilarious is happening. You go Amy Poehler. Get your ass up on stage. I love how the other nominees are like, "Uhhhh, you know what, screw it, I'm getting on stage too."
8:46 – I'm loving how Amy is taking this to FULL ON Miss America levels with the hand-holding and fanning her face. This. Is. Awesome.
8:47 – AND THERE IS A CROWN. Where did that come from?!
Okay, even though yet another show I don't watch is winning, Melissa seems so genuinely thrilled and also was freaking hilarious in Bridesmaids, so yay. (Actually, I'm reading a bunch of tweets saying that the only reason Melissa won was Bridesmaids, which I'm actually totally fine with. It's not going to win an Oscar anytime soon, but Bridesmaids deserves some award love. It is a truly great comedy.)
8:00 – All right, let's see if this opening sequence lives up to Lynch's promises... It starts out a bit weird. Jane Lynch does have a good singing voice though.
8:02 – Asian jokes!
8:04 – RON SWANSON. They really do have a ton of actors involved in this shindig.
8:06 – Okay the Mad Men bit was good. Also, "A world where high school students look 24."
8:09 – "Try doing that in triple Spanx." PREACH.
8:10 – Brian is immediately not amused by the singing intro sextet.
8:12 – I, however, really like the montage of comedy shows. Number 1, because they showed a bunch of 30 Rock and Number 2, because (nearly) ALL MONTAGES ARE AWESOME. Oooh two sips in and the mad caps are starting. This might get crazy.
8:16 – Jane Lynch said they were doing some things differently this year, and I guess the voiceover man providing interesting facts about the winner is an example of that? I hope that becomes awesome later if RON SWANSON wins.
8:19 – Can someone explain why no dude from 30 Rock or Parks and Recreation was nominated for supporting dude?!?
8:28 – I've been checking up on the tweets from the evening. Check out @TomandLorenzo for some great pictures of the dresses so far. Ricky Gervais was funny but since I don't watch Modern Family regularly, I'm bored of them sweeping the awards so far.
8:30 – WHAT. I think I must have missed Zoey Deschanel during one of the NFL breaks. She looks exactly like one of those Barbie doll cakes where its just a giant skirt with the doll shoved into it.
8:31 – Modern Family AGAIN what???
8:40 – Charlie Sheen shut up. God. EVERYONE in the world is over you.
8:43 – I'm glad someone who isn't on Modern Family won. Jim Parsons both seems and looks adorable (yes, those are distinctly different things) and he is rocking that tux despite his obvious nerdstyle.
8:45 – YES. Finally something hilarious is happening. You go Amy Poehler. Get your ass up on stage. I love how the other nominees are like, "Uhhhh, you know what, screw it, I'm getting on stage too."
8:46 – I'm loving how Amy is taking this to FULL ON Miss America levels with the hand-holding and fanning her face. This. Is. Awesome.
8:47 – AND THERE IS A CROWN. Where did that come from?!
Okay, even though yet another show I don't watch is winning, Melissa seems so genuinely thrilled and also was freaking hilarious in Bridesmaids, so yay. (Actually, I'm reading a bunch of tweets saying that the only reason Melissa won was Bridesmaids, which I'm actually totally fine with. It's not going to win an Oscar anytime soon, but Bridesmaids deserves some award love. It is a truly great comedy.)
9:00 – These pre-taped bits and montages are the best part of the show so far. They are seriously good. I loved Amy Poehler speaking in Dothraki on the Office spoof. She is the lady of the night, it seems.
9:01 – Ha. Fanny pack. You joke, Jane Lynch, but I love a good fanny pack.
9:05 – I love you Stephen Colbert. Yet another example of pre-taped stuff being the best part of the night. The intros to this category (which I didn't catch so I'm going to call it the Comedy News/Talk Show Writer Category) are QUALITY.
9:08 – This is the third time they've played the Dior "film." Still gold, still naked, still breathy.
9:13 – Lonely Island. YES.
9:14 – Michael Bolton and the Isle of Tortuga? "Freak Bill Macy"? Akon? This is all so absurd and I am loving it.
9:16 – How much money do you want to wager that Lea Michelle is hoping rumors start that she and Ian Somerhalder are secretly dating? I find her so hilariously out of touch with the world. She can deny the diva label all she wants, but it's useless when she poses and preens and is so intense about everything. (P.s. Yay SNL!)
9:25 – I love The Daily Show but I really hope Colbert wins it one of these days.
9:27 – Yeah those Emmy tones really weren't a good idea.
9:28 – The drama intro montage was less successful than the two previously, possibly because drama just inherently provides less montage-worthy moments but also possibly because they didn't use nearly enough Game of Thrones clips. That shit gets real.
9:30 – The presenter and voiceover dude pronounced the winner's name in completely different ways. Awk-ward. Also, since neither Mad Men nor Game of Thrones won, I'm uninterested.
9:34 – See previous statement.
9:42 – This countdown clock must be really intense, because almost every winner has mentioned it so far. I wonder what happens when the clock runs out? I hope a trapdoor opens up and the winner falls through... Or maybe a giant hook yanks them offstage like in old vaudeville shows. Or maybe Sue throws slushies at them.
9:44 – There's was a ton of red on the red carpet, but I think this is the best one so far. Who is this chick? I can't remember her name but she is smokin' and this sweetheart neckline sparkly red number is HOT. (Edited to add: Her name is Kerry Washington).
9:45 – Yay Peter Dinklage!! FINALLY a show I actually watch! Also, the voiceover just said, "Game of Thrones is filmed on location in Awesomeland." That sounds like something a 12 year old boy would say. The voiceover is getting increasingly lame. Don't ruin the first winner I actually care about, Emmys.
9:47 – I love that he thanked his dog sitter, because even if I was jetting off to Hollywood to win a fancy award, I would still totally be concerned about Penny's wellbeing.
9:48 – Brian and I watched the entirety of Game of Thrones while we hid out from Hurricane Irene, and it is awesome. While we were watching it I kind of hated it because so many terrible, terrible things kept happening and all the terrible, terrible people kept getting the upper hand over other obviously superior people, but every time an episode ended, I wanted to watch the next right away. And the ending was EPIC. I am now reading the books because I can't wait for the next season and because I like to do things nerdstyle.
9:52 – "Now 52% of all TV is set in Jersey... Sarah Palin's Alaska? JERSEY."
9:54 – I didn't understand why Katie Holmes was at the MTV Video Music Awards, and I don't understand why she's here. That is all.
9:59 – Brian walks in the room.
Brian: "What is this?"
Me: "Lead actor. Jon Hamm lost."
Brian: "Who won?!?!"
Me: "Someone from Friday Night Lights."
Brian: "Oh my god. This show is such a joke."
Brian walks out of the room.
10:02 – At this point in the night, I'm going to need more wine or more Ron Swanson. Also I just accidentally threw the remote across the room (it slipped). Also, there is an hour left according to my TV info button. What other genres are there?!
10:05 – HOLY SHIT.
Dear LL Cool J,
You have a good thing going with NCIS: LA. You DO NOT need to come back to your rap career, especially if it means sputtering this angry/confusing stuff about movies and queries. I say this as a friend.
Xoxo,
Kathleen
10:07 – I haven't seen ANY of the miniseries/movies. I have only heard of two. Cue the point in the show where I just drink and half pay attention and play on Pinterest.
10:08 – "You know, many people are curious as to why I'm a lesbian. Ladies and gentlemen, the cast of Entourage." HA.
10:12 – Professor McGonagall for the win!
10:17 – The accountants part of the shows always make me smile because my mom is an accountant and it's rarely such a glamorous profession. Hi mom!
10:20 – I know everybody is going to go after Amy Poehler for her sartorial choices, but I just love her so much that I can't. You wear whatever you want, you hilarious lady. And then you call me and we will hang out in sweatshirts and leggings and milk will probably come out of my nose.
10:22 – I just read what I wrote and I want to assure everyone, I have not had THAT much wine. I stand by what I said.
10:23 – Brian heard the music and called from the other room, "Is this the death montage?" Then he added, "I hope Lil Sebastian is on there." ME TOO.
10:25 – I don't know any of the people singing "Hallelujah," but damn do I love this song. (It's less mournful/beautiful as a quartet though.)
10:35 – Is this always the order they give the awards in? Why don't they do this first and save drama for the end? Everyone is asleep right now, Emmys. Just so you know.
10:45 – Jane Lynch is doing her best but this show is dying, fast.
10:48 – Time for the real shit. MAD MEN wins!! So deserved.
10:55 – I like how Gwenyth/Gwyneth walked up to the mike and basically said, "The prompter's down, I'm not going to embarrass myself so I'm going to say as little as possible, here are the nominees," and then everybody clapped like she delivered the Gettysburg Address.
10:57 – Clearly I need to watch Modern Family more. I've seen it and I know it's funny, but I've never committed to adding it to my life as something to watch every week. Maybe if I do that I won't be as bored/annoyed that they win everything next year. Actually if I do that, some other show that I don't watch will win everything next year.
10:58 – HA. (After talking about a gay couple thanking them for not only making people laugh but also making them more tolerant): "Yes, we're showing the world there is nothing wrong with an old man married to a hot young woman. And looking around the room, I see many of you agree." Okay, I think that line alone convinced me to add Modern Family to my TV lineup.
11:00 – That's it, y'all. I can't wait to see whose dressed get lauded and whose get ripped tomorrow. See you in February for the Oscars! (You know, unless you want to keep reading my blog until then, which I ENCOURAGE.)
9:05 – I love you Stephen Colbert. Yet another example of pre-taped stuff being the best part of the night. The intros to this category (which I didn't catch so I'm going to call it the Comedy News/Talk Show Writer Category) are QUALITY.
9:08 – This is the third time they've played the Dior "film." Still gold, still naked, still breathy.
9:13 – Lonely Island. YES.
9:14 – Michael Bolton and the Isle of Tortuga? "Freak Bill Macy"? Akon? This is all so absurd and I am loving it.
9:16 – How much money do you want to wager that Lea Michelle is hoping rumors start that she and Ian Somerhalder are secretly dating? I find her so hilariously out of touch with the world. She can deny the diva label all she wants, but it's useless when she poses and preens and is so intense about everything. (P.s. Yay SNL!)
9:25 – I love The Daily Show but I really hope Colbert wins it one of these days.
9:27 – Yeah those Emmy tones really weren't a good idea.
9:28 – The drama intro montage was less successful than the two previously, possibly because drama just inherently provides less montage-worthy moments but also possibly because they didn't use nearly enough Game of Thrones clips. That shit gets real.
9:30 – The presenter and voiceover dude pronounced the winner's name in completely different ways. Awk-ward. Also, since neither Mad Men nor Game of Thrones won, I'm uninterested.
9:34 – See previous statement.
9:42 – This countdown clock must be really intense, because almost every winner has mentioned it so far. I wonder what happens when the clock runs out? I hope a trapdoor opens up and the winner falls through... Or maybe a giant hook yanks them offstage like in old vaudeville shows. Or maybe Sue throws slushies at them.
9:44 – There's was a ton of red on the red carpet, but I think this is the best one so far. Who is this chick? I can't remember her name but she is smokin' and this sweetheart neckline sparkly red number is HOT. (Edited to add: Her name is Kerry Washington).
9:45 – Yay Peter Dinklage!! FINALLY a show I actually watch! Also, the voiceover just said, "Game of Thrones is filmed on location in Awesomeland." That sounds like something a 12 year old boy would say. The voiceover is getting increasingly lame. Don't ruin the first winner I actually care about, Emmys.
9:47 – I love that he thanked his dog sitter, because even if I was jetting off to Hollywood to win a fancy award, I would still totally be concerned about Penny's wellbeing.
9:48 – Brian and I watched the entirety of Game of Thrones while we hid out from Hurricane Irene, and it is awesome. While we were watching it I kind of hated it because so many terrible, terrible things kept happening and all the terrible, terrible people kept getting the upper hand over other obviously superior people, but every time an episode ended, I wanted to watch the next right away. And the ending was EPIC. I am now reading the books because I can't wait for the next season and because I like to do things nerdstyle.
9:52 – "Now 52% of all TV is set in Jersey... Sarah Palin's Alaska? JERSEY."
9:54 – I didn't understand why Katie Holmes was at the MTV Video Music Awards, and I don't understand why she's here. That is all.
9:59 – Brian walks in the room.
Brian: "What is this?"
Me: "Lead actor. Jon Hamm lost."
Brian: "Who won?!?!"
Me: "Someone from Friday Night Lights."
Brian: "Oh my god. This show is such a joke."
Brian walks out of the room.
10:02 – At this point in the night, I'm going to need more wine or more Ron Swanson. Also I just accidentally threw the remote across the room (it slipped). Also, there is an hour left according to my TV info button. What other genres are there?!
10:05 – HOLY SHIT.
Dear LL Cool J,
You have a good thing going with NCIS: LA. You DO NOT need to come back to your rap career, especially if it means sputtering this angry/confusing stuff about movies and queries. I say this as a friend.
Xoxo,
Kathleen
10:07 – I haven't seen ANY of the miniseries/movies. I have only heard of two. Cue the point in the show where I just drink and half pay attention and play on Pinterest.
10:08 – "You know, many people are curious as to why I'm a lesbian. Ladies and gentlemen, the cast of Entourage." HA.
10:12 – Professor McGonagall for the win!
10:17 – The accountants part of the shows always make me smile because my mom is an accountant and it's rarely such a glamorous profession. Hi mom!
10:20 – I know everybody is going to go after Amy Poehler for her sartorial choices, but I just love her so much that I can't. You wear whatever you want, you hilarious lady. And then you call me and we will hang out in sweatshirts and leggings and milk will probably come out of my nose.
10:22 – I just read what I wrote and I want to assure everyone, I have not had THAT much wine. I stand by what I said.
10:23 – Brian heard the music and called from the other room, "Is this the death montage?" Then he added, "I hope Lil Sebastian is on there." ME TOO.
10:25 – I don't know any of the people singing "Hallelujah," but damn do I love this song. (It's less mournful/beautiful as a quartet though.)
10:35 – Is this always the order they give the awards in? Why don't they do this first and save drama for the end? Everyone is asleep right now, Emmys. Just so you know.
10:45 – Jane Lynch is doing her best but this show is dying, fast.
10:48 – Time for the real shit. MAD MEN wins!! So deserved.
10:55 – I like how Gwenyth/Gwyneth walked up to the mike and basically said, "The prompter's down, I'm not going to embarrass myself so I'm going to say as little as possible, here are the nominees," and then everybody clapped like she delivered the Gettysburg Address.
10:57 – Clearly I need to watch Modern Family more. I've seen it and I know it's funny, but I've never committed to adding it to my life as something to watch every week. Maybe if I do that I won't be as bored/annoyed that they win everything next year. Actually if I do that, some other show that I don't watch will win everything next year.
10:58 – HA. (After talking about a gay couple thanking them for not only making people laugh but also making them more tolerant): "Yes, we're showing the world there is nothing wrong with an old man married to a hot young woman. And looking around the room, I see many of you agree." Okay, I think that line alone convinced me to add Modern Family to my TV lineup.
11:00 – That's it, y'all. I can't wait to see whose dressed get lauded and whose get ripped tomorrow. See you in February for the Oscars! (You know, unless you want to keep reading my blog until then, which I ENCOURAGE.)
Emmys 2011 Red Carpet Liveblog
Hello friends! It's award season again and I'm going to liveblog it! I'd say it's because I believe my opinions need to be heard on this vitally important matter... but really it's so I can have an excuse to drink mass quantities of wine and talk about pretty dresses. I'm decked out in my very best duds (red norts and a brand new large Hanes v-neck T, obviously) and ready to go!
I am running out to get sustenance for us, so Brian will be taking notes until my return. Here are his thoughts on the red carpet goings-on at E!:
6:17 – Aaaaaaaaand here I am, bearing Thai AND sushi – that's right, we don't skimp when it comes to award show food around here. Let's dive right in. Apparently I just missed Lea Michelle but saw something backless and red as they cut away. Now Sarah Hyland (who looks like the mini version of girlcrush Mila Kunis) is talking about some drama involving Lea Michelle? Apparently she was being interviewed by Joan Rivers and imitating how Lea poses and then Lea got all offended over it? I’m not sure. But I do know that Sarah Hyland is adorable and is so over the drama which makes me want to be her friend.
6:20 – Literally the second E! went to commercial Brian called, “Channel recall!” so it’s over to NFL for a few.
6:24 – Yay Jane Lynch! She is hilarious. And NOT wearing a lesbian power suit for once!! She looks good.
6:26 – Apparently the opening sequence will be “epic.” We’ll see, Lynch, we’ll see.
6:30 – Paula Abdul blah blah I really couldn't care less. Time to shove some edemame in my face.
6:35 – Kaley Cuoco just (sarcastically) said, "I'm just so chic, you don't know." And also her dad is her date. New girlcrush brewing? Possibly.
6:37 – Okay finally got Lea Michelle in the 360 cam. She really does pose so over-the-top with this shit. Okay now she really IS posing on the carpet like she's on ANTM. Girl. Also she is wearing Marchesa and Marchesa agreed that they would dress her and her alone for the Emmys and you KNOW she is eating that shit up.
I also got a peek at Nina Dobrev (see Brian's comments above), also in red. She is so pretty, y'all. And her dress is so pretty.
6:42 – Another commercial break = crab rangoon break. Brian just said, "When does the actual show start?" He can't believe there is another hour and 15 minutes of this.
6:42 – I'm not sure if I'm going to watch the new Charlie's Angels, but they are real pretty, so there's that. I like the blond one's sassy bob haircut.
6:46 – Julianna Margulies looks kind of like a skyscraper, but not in a bad way?
6:48 – Christina Hendricks!! Your boobs look normal for once!!! (I.e. not like this.) Also Jesus Christ what I would give to know the secrets of having that exact hair color. She's so hot. It pains me that she often dresses so unfortunately, but today she really does look beautiful.
6:50 – Time for some "exclusive 90 second film" by/about Dior? Whatevz.
(90 seconds later) I can sum up that "film" in three words: gold, naked, breathy. That's all you need to know.
6:53 – There is a "super new" show on E! called Dirty Soap. Yep, that sounds about right.
6:54 – Tracy Jordan/Morgan! Brian (who had retreated into the bedroom) heard his voice and came in to remind me of the best thing Tracy Morgan has ever created.
7:01 – Lots is happening, but I'm eating. I'll get back to you.
7:02 – Steve Carell and wife. Both look good. Let's get some trainwrecks up in here, huh?
7:03 – Joel McHale gets on my nerves in The Soup, which is why I never watch it, but I keep hearing how hilarious Community is. Also, he is wearing a white tuxedo jacket and looks somewhat like a fancy waiter, but he's definitely pulling it off.
7:08 – More things are happening, more people look good... blah blah blah. TRAINWRECKS, where are you?
7:10 – Oooooooh Elizabeth Moss says she is wearing Marchesa. I wonder if Lea Michelle is going to run up behind her and attack her for raining on her "I'm the only one wearing Marchesa" parade? That would be awesome.
7:20 – We went back to NFL for a bit, then came back to see Julie Bowen talking about her son projectile vomiting. We also got some shot of the woman that plays Robin on How I Met Your Mother in a really nice blue color and Naya Riviera wearing black. Sass.
7:27 – And now Will Arnett is interviewing Amy Poehler. "I heard [your dress is] made out of 100 dollar bills, is that true?"
7:29 – Aaaaaaand Gwyneth Paltrow – whose name I spell as "Gwenyth" literally EVERY single time – is wearing a belly shirt? Or maybe that's illusion netting? Also it's real sheer pretty much everywhere with lots of beading covering the bits. It... is almost a good look. But in the end, almost still = girl, WHAT. But I think your shoes are cute, G!
7:32 – I should take this moment to clarify that when I say I'm wearing norts, I mean Nike shorts... not the other thing urbandictionary defines "norts" as.
7:35 – Heidi is wearing a Christian Siriano dress with an awesome giant ballerina puff skirt (check out THOSE fashion buzzwords). I love that she wears Project Runway winners' stuff. She knows where her bread is buttered. I'm pretty sure I just butchered that phrase.
7:40 – Someone I don't recognize is wearing something in the best green color ever. More please.
7:41 – Diana Agron is wearing something blue with a very demure neckline. Her hair is very Jackie O. These interviews are always SO AWKWARD. She's doing that thing where she's trying to walk away but he says one more thing and she kind of fake laughs and talks as she's leaving. Awk.
7:42 – Ole Hammbone. Giuliana just said to Jon Hamm'swife longtime girlfriend, "Sorry Jennifer, we're going to pretend you're not here for a minute." You wish, G. YOU WISH.
P.s. Come back, Mad Men!
7:50 – Ryan and Giuliana are seriously fawning over Julianne Hough (did I spell that right?). She... doesn't look as good they are saying she is. Oh I think she and Ryan are dating... that makes more sense. But her dress washes her out, while also making me say, "meh" in a really bad way. "You look like an angel," Giuliana said. Oh God.
7:53 – Kristin Wiig as a palate cleanser thank God. She is brunette! And hot. And funny. I love her.
7:54 – They are heading to commercial with "more!" promised, but I need to pop open that wine (I can't believe I've waited this long), so I'm going to switch over to Fox to await the beginning.
7:55 – OF COURSE before I got to the remote they announced, "There are weddings. And then there are weddings of KARDASHIAN PROPORTIONS." Good lord. Peace out, E!
I am running out to get sustenance for us, so Brian will be taking notes until my return. Here are his thoughts on the red carpet goings-on at E!:
Nina Dobrey(sp?) from the Vampire Diaries is ssssmokin’. She “owns nothing she is wearing”. Some sort of rumor about her and some guy – status = who knows. She “would be his arm candy” if she was walking with him. She’s dumb.
Pennycat looks like she’s been on a diet. That chica licks herself so much – no one else could pull that off in public…especially with such a fluffy figure.
Colby someone looks good in a blue dress according to Ozzie Osbourne’s daughter with spiky hair.
Kathleen looks super sexy tonight. She’s wearing Walt Disney’s “hottest new piece”, the Mickey Mouse classics sweatshirt. Looks super comfy. It just screams “I want to lounge around the house, yet I’m here to party”…a la the tuxedo t-shirt. Totes fab.
WHOA! I thought a woman was speaking... and then the lady’s voice was coming from a man in a tuxedo. No shit. Maybe someone is pitching that voice? Dubbing it in? Freaky. The guy is not Ryan Seacrest, because I just saw him and his voice sounded burly, comparatively.
6:17 – Aaaaaaaaand here I am, bearing Thai AND sushi – that's right, we don't skimp when it comes to award show food around here. Let's dive right in. Apparently I just missed Lea Michelle but saw something backless and red as they cut away. Now Sarah Hyland (who looks like the mini version of girlcrush Mila Kunis) is talking about some drama involving Lea Michelle? Apparently she was being interviewed by Joan Rivers and imitating how Lea poses and then Lea got all offended over it? I’m not sure. But I do know that Sarah Hyland is adorable and is so over the drama which makes me want to be her friend.
6:20 – Literally the second E! went to commercial Brian called, “Channel recall!” so it’s over to NFL for a few.
6:24 – Yay Jane Lynch! She is hilarious. And NOT wearing a lesbian power suit for once!! She looks good.
6:26 – Apparently the opening sequence will be “epic.” We’ll see, Lynch, we’ll see.
6:30 – Paula Abdul blah blah I really couldn't care less. Time to shove some edemame in my face.
6:35 – Kaley Cuoco just (sarcastically) said, "I'm just so chic, you don't know." And also her dad is her date. New girlcrush brewing? Possibly.
6:37 – Okay finally got Lea Michelle in the 360 cam. She really does pose so over-the-top with this shit. Okay now she really IS posing on the carpet like she's on ANTM. Girl. Also she is wearing Marchesa and Marchesa agreed that they would dress her and her alone for the Emmys and you KNOW she is eating that shit up.
I also got a peek at Nina Dobrev (see Brian's comments above), also in red. She is so pretty, y'all. And her dress is so pretty.
6:42 – Another commercial break = crab rangoon break. Brian just said, "When does the actual show start?" He can't believe there is another hour and 15 minutes of this.
6:42 – I'm not sure if I'm going to watch the new Charlie's Angels, but they are real pretty, so there's that. I like the blond one's sassy bob haircut.
6:46 – Julianna Margulies looks kind of like a skyscraper, but not in a bad way?
6:48 – Christina Hendricks!! Your boobs look normal for once!!! (I.e. not like this.) Also Jesus Christ what I would give to know the secrets of having that exact hair color. She's so hot. It pains me that she often dresses so unfortunately, but today she really does look beautiful.
6:50 – Time for some "exclusive 90 second film" by/about Dior? Whatevz.
(90 seconds later) I can sum up that "film" in three words: gold, naked, breathy. That's all you need to know.
6:53 – There is a "super new" show on E! called Dirty Soap. Yep, that sounds about right.
6:54 – Tracy Jordan/Morgan! Brian (who had retreated into the bedroom) heard his voice and came in to remind me of the best thing Tracy Morgan has ever created.
7:01 – Lots is happening, but I'm eating. I'll get back to you.
7:02 – Steve Carell and wife. Both look good. Let's get some trainwrecks up in here, huh?
7:03 – Joel McHale gets on my nerves in The Soup, which is why I never watch it, but I keep hearing how hilarious Community is. Also, he is wearing a white tuxedo jacket and looks somewhat like a fancy waiter, but he's definitely pulling it off.
7:08 – More things are happening, more people look good... blah blah blah. TRAINWRECKS, where are you?
7:10 – Oooooooh Elizabeth Moss says she is wearing Marchesa. I wonder if Lea Michelle is going to run up behind her and attack her for raining on her "I'm the only one wearing Marchesa" parade? That would be awesome.
7:20 – We went back to NFL for a bit, then came back to see Julie Bowen talking about her son projectile vomiting. We also got some shot of the woman that plays Robin on How I Met Your Mother in a really nice blue color and Naya Riviera wearing black. Sass.
7:27 – And now Will Arnett is interviewing Amy Poehler. "I heard [your dress is] made out of 100 dollar bills, is that true?"
7:29 – Aaaaaaand Gwyneth Paltrow – whose name I spell as "Gwenyth" literally EVERY single time – is wearing a belly shirt? Or maybe that's illusion netting? Also it's real sheer pretty much everywhere with lots of beading covering the bits. It... is almost a good look. But in the end, almost still = girl, WHAT. But I think your shoes are cute, G!
7:32 – I should take this moment to clarify that when I say I'm wearing norts, I mean Nike shorts... not the other thing urbandictionary defines "norts" as.
7:35 – Heidi is wearing a Christian Siriano dress with an awesome giant ballerina puff skirt (check out THOSE fashion buzzwords). I love that she wears Project Runway winners' stuff. She knows where her bread is buttered. I'm pretty sure I just butchered that phrase.
7:40 – Someone I don't recognize is wearing something in the best green color ever. More please.
7:41 – Diana Agron is wearing something blue with a very demure neckline. Her hair is very Jackie O. These interviews are always SO AWKWARD. She's doing that thing where she's trying to walk away but he says one more thing and she kind of fake laughs and talks as she's leaving. Awk.
7:42 – Ole Hammbone. Giuliana just said to Jon Hamm's
P.s. Come back, Mad Men!
7:50 – Ryan and Giuliana are seriously fawning over Julianne Hough (did I spell that right?). She... doesn't look as good they are saying she is. Oh I think she and Ryan are dating... that makes more sense. But her dress washes her out, while also making me say, "meh" in a really bad way. "You look like an angel," Giuliana said. Oh God.
7:53 – Kristin Wiig as a palate cleanser thank God. She is brunette! And hot. And funny. I love her.
7:54 – They are heading to commercial with "more!" promised, but I need to pop open that wine (I can't believe I've waited this long), so I'm going to switch over to Fox to await the beginning.
7:55 – OF COURSE before I got to the remote they announced, "There are weddings. And then there are weddings of KARDASHIAN PROPORTIONS." Good lord. Peace out, E!
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
adventures with kittens: commemoration, y'all
HAPPY ONE YEAR OF BEING OURS TO WEE LITTLE PENNYCAT!
We don't actually know Penny's real birthday, since she was bornto be wi-i-ild in the wild in New Hampshire, but we estimate it is sometime in June based on what the vet told us. But we did kind of a shitty job celebrating then, so instead we are celebrating the day Penny came home to us.
Yes, one year ago today Brian drove back from NH with the tiniest little fluffbucket in the seat next to him. She was so scared and shy and I just wanted to LOVE HER OKAY. But eventually she decided we weren't so bad and now she pretty much runs things around here.
Here's a little retrospective of phone pictures:
These were the first pictures I ever saw of tiny Penny, when Brian was asking which kitten he should bring home. Look how pathetic she looks! I knew I had to have that tiny fuzzy being.
Looking back on these, she is SO TINY.
She fit in the windowsill!
Sleeping, boozing, sleeping – Penny also quickly discovered the secret to the perfect life.
Playing, napping.
...But she quickly decided TV and naps were more important than worldwide fame.
She also discovered stairs for the first time and LOVED them.
I've never had a cat that loves to be upside down as much as Penny. She often sleeps upside down, and then when she wakes up and jumps off the bed she can usually only make it a few steps before she decides she is too sleepy to make it any further, falls over and rolls onto her back. Then she looks at us and demands to be loved.
Sleepy, sleepy, face, put your hands up.
She also loves to get in boxes/bags/suitcases whenever they are available to her.
And here she is, in her full fluff glory these days. We love you Pennycat. I'm so glad you're ours.
We don't actually know Penny's real birthday, since she was born
Yes, one year ago today Brian drove back from NH with the tiniest little fluffbucket in the seat next to him. She was so scared and shy and I just wanted to LOVE HER OKAY. But eventually she decided we weren't so bad and now she pretty much runs things around here.
Here's a little retrospective of phone pictures:
And here is the first time she was home and being sweet, as opposed to being home and hiding/trembling.
Always resourceful, Penny figured out quickly how to keep warm when it got chilly.
Helping me study.
And this is about the time Penny considered a career as a professional model.
Plus, quitting modeling gave her more time to get into (and onto) shit around the house.
And here is Penny's first trip outside of Boston - we took her home to Mississippi for Christmas!
We also got her spayed while in the South, which led to some hilarious moments while she was super high on kitty anesthesia – she wanted to jump onto my bed but couldn't make it so she kept jumping and falling and giving me heart attacks because I was afraid she was going to tear her stitches. So I put her on the bed and she immediately wanted to jump off, and then fell over drunk as soon as she landed. I should have videoed it. It would have been bigger than David After Dentist.
Back in Boston, there was snow! And Penny watched it from the window for hours. Look how much bigger here than the first picture in the window!
And although she doesn't fit into the windowsill quite like when she was a kitten, she still loves it.
Brian is probably going to kill me for including this picture but it cracks me up so much. Penny really has us wrapped around her little paw, to the point where I woke up one day to see her literally asleep on Brian's head.
All in a day's work.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
money and perspective
After getting another parking ticket the other day (we don't get these extremely often, but I'm always so mad at myself when we do) and accidentally waiting to buy some plane tickets to the point that they were VERY expensive and checking my bank account to find out I had a whopping $11 in it, I was feeling really down today about how I've been handling my fiscal and life-cal responsibilities.
I told Brian, "I'm terrible at being an adult."
He responded with, "No, people who abandon their children, who deal drugs and/or purposefully park in handicap zones suck at being adults. We, on the other hand, are just beginners."
Perspective.
I told Brian, "I'm terrible at being an adult."
He responded with, "No, people who abandon their children, who deal drugs and/or purposefully park in handicap zones suck at being adults. We, on the other hand, are just beginners."
Perspective.
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
leaving SLC
As I mentioned in another post, I'm in Salt Lake City, Utah (or I was when I wrote this - I was waiting on the pictures to post it and here they are, yay!).
Near the beginning of the visit, we held a little dinner get-together for the friends that I have kept in touch with and their families. I have to admit, I was nervous about seeing my childhood best friends after so many years, but I shouldn't have been worried. We clicked back together like I had never left. We laughed about how awkward and young and WEIRD we were in middle school – seriously, we were so strange. And awkward. Proof?
I really REALLY hope they don't hate me forever for putting that picture on the internet. We really were that awk though - fourteen was an unforgiving age. Luckily I can say that we have all grown into this:
God I never thought I'd be so happy to be in my 20s. Seeing my old friends was the best experience. I love that even though we are all totally different people than we were as kids, we still really connect and have so much fun. So many memories with these ladies.
Other things from the trip:
A couple of days ago I went back to visit my elementary school, which was a crazy trip. I attended that school for an entire decade, from Pre-Kindergarten to 8th grade. Up until recently that made up over half of my whole life (and the fact that it doesn't anymore makes me feel super old). Some things had changed – they stopped manufacturing the plaid of our uniforms, so all the kids wear new colors. They've built new art, science and music rooms down at one end, which is great because in my day the teachers of those classes had to cart around their gear from room to room. I'm sure I'll have more to explore on this topic later (including some awesomely terrible pictures of adolescent me in uniform).
Today myself and two of my cousins all tried on our mothers' wedding dress* (it's the same dress - our mothers, who are sisters, both wore their mother's wedding dress, so there is a great tradition involved with the dress). More on that later, too!
It's amazing how different it feels to be a guest in my parent's home rather than coming home to stay in my old bedroom. This is a wonderful house (holy shit their kitchen is amazing), but it's my parents' home and not mine – I really am an adult, with my own home. It's sad and exciting all at the same time.
* I swear I occasionally do things other than think, talk and blog about weddings, even if it doesn't seem like it lately.
Near the beginning of the visit, we held a little dinner get-together for the friends that I have kept in touch with and their families. I have to admit, I was nervous about seeing my childhood best friends after so many years, but I shouldn't have been worried. We clicked back together like I had never left. We laughed about how awkward and young and WEIRD we were in middle school – seriously, we were so strange. And awkward. Proof?
 |
| This was my last night in Utah before moving to Mississippi. |
Other things from the trip:
A couple of days ago I went back to visit my elementary school, which was a crazy trip. I attended that school for an entire decade, from Pre-Kindergarten to 8th grade. Up until recently that made up over half of my whole life (and the fact that it doesn't anymore makes me feel super old). Some things had changed – they stopped manufacturing the plaid of our uniforms, so all the kids wear new colors. They've built new art, science and music rooms down at one end, which is great because in my day the teachers of those classes had to cart around their gear from room to room. I'm sure I'll have more to explore on this topic later (including some awesomely terrible pictures of adolescent me in uniform).
Today myself and two of my cousins all tried on our mothers' wedding dress* (it's the same dress - our mothers, who are sisters, both wore their mother's wedding dress, so there is a great tradition involved with the dress). More on that later, too!
It's amazing how different it feels to be a guest in my parent's home rather than coming home to stay in my old bedroom. This is a wonderful house (holy shit their kitchen is amazing), but it's my parents' home and not mine – I really am an adult, with my own home. It's sad and exciting all at the same time.
* I swear I occasionally do things other than think, talk and blog about weddings, even if it doesn't seem like it lately.
Sunday, August 14, 2011
real talk: wedding planning
When I wrote this, I had stars in my eyes and wedding blogs on my mind and was so, so innocent. Now, seven months later, I am a little bit... emotional. Somehow both overemotional and emotionally drained at the same time, actually.
Weddings cost money.
A lot of money. Even when you don't want them to or plan for them to, they just surprise you. And of course the things I care about the most – photography, location, food & drinks – are the most expensive elements. And of course I have a giant family and Brian has a big family and we both have a lot of wonderful friends that we really want to be there to celebrate with us (and of course people tell you the guest list is the first thing to drive up the price but of course I scoffed and said I could figure it out and now I'm realizing what they tell you is one thousand percent true). And of course I want to be one of those laid-back, easy breezy brides but I'm not sure I've ever really been laid-back about anything in my life.
I'm a perfectionist and I'm neurotic and I'm type A and I'm my own worst critic.
All of these traits would make me fabulous at planning someone else's wedding, I believe. But when it's my own my emotions get too involved and I kind of freak out.
It's a hard thing to talk about. It's hard to say that planning this is making me do things and be someone I don't want to be. It's making me care way too much about things that are silly. In fact, a grand theme of wedding planning (at least when it is your own) is to care about things you don’t want to (and really SHOULDN’T) care about. And you know it’s totally silly to care about it, but you DO and you can’t HELP IT and you feel dumb but that doesn’t change anything.
I was never one to find eloping particularly appealing or romantic, but lately I've started thinking those people – the ones who reclaim their weddings from the hype and expense and all the people trying to tell them what they "should" do or what is "appropriate" and instead of worrying about offending people, they just go off to celebrate getting married and starting a marriage, which is the whole point of a wedding after all – might have the right idea.
Don't worry, I'm not eloping. I'm just saying I appreciate anyone who just says "screw it" and does it exactly how they want. After all, a wedding is about the bride and groom (or the bride and bride or the groom and groom, I'm all about equality) making a promise to each other, not about anyone or anything else. That's what I need to remember.
Weddings cost money.
 |
| source: Once Wed |
I'm a perfectionist and I'm neurotic and I'm type A and I'm my own worst critic.
All of these traits would make me fabulous at planning someone else's wedding, I believe. But when it's my own my emotions get too involved and I kind of freak out.
It's a hard thing to talk about. It's hard to say that planning this is making me do things and be someone I don't want to be. It's making me care way too much about things that are silly. In fact, a grand theme of wedding planning (at least when it is your own) is to care about things you don’t want to (and really SHOULDN’T) care about. And you know it’s totally silly to care about it, but you DO and you can’t HELP IT and you feel dumb but that doesn’t change anything.
For example, there is a surprising downside of wedding blog addiction (you know, besides millions and millions of hours of my time trickled away into the ether [and besides the inevitable envy at their Louboutin wedding shoes and multiple dresses and breathtaking decor (basically, all the things that half-million-dollar budgets can get you [seriously, do they think they are kidding us, calling a wedding "DIY-chic" when I can see that the shoes are Manolos and the dress is Vera?])])...
Where was I?... Oh yeah, a surprising downside is that it starts to seem like everything has been done before. When I first started perusing the wedding web, I found some engagement pictures that I fell in love with and immediately planned to blatantly rip off for our own save-the-dates. Then I saw similar ones on several other sites and started thinking I need to come up with something new and different and original (we ended up copying the idea after all). Same thing with the hanger for your wedding dress saying "Mrs. So-and-so" (will probably get scratched anyway for budgetary reasons) and peacock feather decor (will likely still be some, but scaled back from my original plan).
It’s even worse when your friends beat you to it. Three of my favorite ideas for our wedding (Scrabble tiles and bridal TOMS and putting your mom's dress on display) have already been done by close friends of ours and even though we had the ideas completely independently and in the end it really doesn’t matter at all, I feel like if I do them I will be copying someone else’s big day. Which is dumb, but honest.
On the other hand, flowers are something I never figured I'd care much about in the grand scheme of my wedding – not that I don't love receiving them in real life, hinthintBrian – because they are expensive and there are so so many things to buy. I just wanted something simple inexpensive, but beautiful. Then I see about seventy billion breathtaking bouquets on various blogs and suddenly I'm thinking, "well maybe I do want a fancy schmancy flowery thang to hold on to..." Which only leads me back to the budget and the millions of other things and I'm defeated all over again.
I was never one to find eloping particularly appealing or romantic, but lately I've started thinking those people – the ones who reclaim their weddings from the hype and expense and all the people trying to tell them what they "should" do or what is "appropriate" and instead of worrying about offending people, they just go off to celebrate getting married and starting a marriage, which is the whole point of a wedding after all – might have the right idea.
Don't worry, I'm not eloping. I'm just saying I appreciate anyone who just says "screw it" and does it exactly how they want. After all, a wedding is about the bride and groom (or the bride and bride or the groom and groom, I'm all about equality) making a promise to each other, not about anyone or anything else. That's what I need to remember.
So there it is. Real talk. I promise to crop Penny's head on something ridiculous next time to lighten the mood, but it feels good to share.
Friday, August 12, 2011
A Dream Wedding
I received this text message from one of Brian's fraternity brothers (and groomsmen) last week:
I had a dream about the wedding. It was western themed. Brians groomsmen were me, some KA and Brian's nephew. Molly and Nancy Yates were the only bridesmaids. We all wore chaps and cowboy boots. The flower girl just kicked a tumbleweed down the aisle and you rode in on a stallion. Wtf...And I just have one question. Does anyone know where I can get a white stallion in Mississippi?!
Thursday, August 11, 2011
I'm baaaaaaaaack!!
Which I'm sure 40% of my former readership will never notice, because you have stopped checking due to the lengthy lack of posts, another 40% will notice because I put this on facebook but react like, "oh yeah, that blog I never read anyway," 1% will pretend to care because you live with me and I tell you when I post and then stare at you, waiting until you go read it (hi Brian!), 2% will both notice and care because they are probably the only ones still checking this thing (hi Mom and Dad!), 10% will be super excited to resume filling their heads with my drabble, and the remaining [does math in head]... 7% are just here because they googled information about maine coons - seriously, I get so many hits from that post.
Note: Yes, I realize that by making my parents 2% I am assuming I have, or at least used to have, 100 loyal readers. A girl can dream.
So where did I go?
I never forgot about the blog so much as I went a few days without updating, and then I wrote a couple of half-posts that I intended to spruce up before posting for real, and then I didn't do that and then they weren't timely anymore and then it had been a bunch of days without updating and then I threw a couple posts up and wrote several more half-posts that never quite got finished or published and then I was traveling a bunch and then I got kind of used to thinking about blogging but not actually blogging and then all of the sudden it was August and I was like, "whaaaaaaat?"
Hey. Happy August.
Happy middle of August to be realz.
How has your summer been? Mine has been mostly uneventful, but punctuated by periods of busy/chaos. Brian has been working so hard, bringing home mounds and mounds of things to write and prepare and study each night and the weekend. And I have been... working. I am doing an internship at Art New England magazine three days a week, writing for the website and some upcoming print issues. I really enjoy it and have been putting a lot of effort into the writing, since it will actually be seen by more than my professors. But I also have been enjoying coming home and, for the most part, leaving work behind me until the next morning. I never got to feel like that when school was in session, and I'm sure as soon as things start up again in September I won't anymore, so I am taking advantage of it.
The busy part of life mostly has to do with wedding season being in full swing. For us, it involves a bunch of traveling, either preparing for it or being in the thick of it or recovering from it. We spent a weekend in Jackson and Hattiesburg for two friends' wedding, and managed to lock down our wedding venue and date in the same weekend (yay slash thank god). Then more recently I took five days off to be a bridesmaid in my best friend's wedding in Florida (yay Tait Kellogg! I didn't even have to hold her hair or anything at the bachelorette!).
Also, I'm in Utah. Did I mention that? I am visiting mes parents for a week or so, and it is super nostalgic. Although I largely grew up in this state, I haven't been in it for six years and haven't lived here for over nine years. It doesn't really feel like home anymore, but there are elements of it that will always bring that feeling back. The mountains, certain sights, people. My parents live in a different neighborhood now than what I grew up in, so its not overwhelming as of yet, but I think when I visit other old sights it will be. My school, the library, certain restaurants... these are the places engrained in my brain.
In addition, I have been going through the last things I left at my parents' house when I moved to Boston, which is mainly old pictures and memorabilia from middle school and high school. It is bringing back some of the (horrible, terrible, embarrassing, should-never-be-seen-by-anyone) choices I made growing up – mainly sartorial, but there are some pretty good hairstyles and even journal entires I am stumbling upon. Don't worry, there will be posts to come exploring these items in greater detail.
But for now, I just want to say hey. What's up. Let's hang out again.
Note: Yes, I realize that by making my parents 2% I am assuming I have, or at least used to have, 100 loyal readers. A girl can dream.
So where did I go?
I never forgot about the blog so much as I went a few days without updating, and then I wrote a couple of half-posts that I intended to spruce up before posting for real, and then I didn't do that and then they weren't timely anymore and then it had been a bunch of days without updating and then I threw a couple posts up and wrote several more half-posts that never quite got finished or published and then I was traveling a bunch and then I got kind of used to thinking about blogging but not actually blogging and then all of the sudden it was August and I was like, "whaaaaaaat?"
Hey. Happy August.
Happy middle of August to be realz.
How has your summer been? Mine has been mostly uneventful, but punctuated by periods of busy/chaos. Brian has been working so hard, bringing home mounds and mounds of things to write and prepare and study each night and the weekend. And I have been... working. I am doing an internship at Art New England magazine three days a week, writing for the website and some upcoming print issues. I really enjoy it and have been putting a lot of effort into the writing, since it will actually be seen by more than my professors. But I also have been enjoying coming home and, for the most part, leaving work behind me until the next morning. I never got to feel like that when school was in session, and I'm sure as soon as things start up again in September I won't anymore, so I am taking advantage of it.
The busy part of life mostly has to do with wedding season being in full swing. For us, it involves a bunch of traveling, either preparing for it or being in the thick of it or recovering from it. We spent a weekend in Jackson and Hattiesburg for two friends' wedding, and managed to lock down our wedding venue and date in the same weekend (yay slash thank god). Then more recently I took five days off to be a bridesmaid in my best friend's wedding in Florida (yay Tait Kellogg! I didn't even have to hold her hair or anything at the bachelorette!).
Also, I'm in Utah. Did I mention that? I am visiting mes parents for a week or so, and it is super nostalgic. Although I largely grew up in this state, I haven't been in it for six years and haven't lived here for over nine years. It doesn't really feel like home anymore, but there are elements of it that will always bring that feeling back. The mountains, certain sights, people. My parents live in a different neighborhood now than what I grew up in, so its not overwhelming as of yet, but I think when I visit other old sights it will be. My school, the library, certain restaurants... these are the places engrained in my brain.
In addition, I have been going through the last things I left at my parents' house when I moved to Boston, which is mainly old pictures and memorabilia from middle school and high school. It is bringing back some of the (horrible, terrible, embarrassing, should-never-be-seen-by-anyone) choices I made growing up – mainly sartorial, but there are some pretty good hairstyles and even journal entires I am stumbling upon. Don't worry, there will be posts to come exploring these items in greater detail.
But for now, I just want to say hey. What's up. Let's hang out again.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
awkward intern
Today is my last day of my summer internship. It was a good experience overall, something to keep me busy but that I rarely had to take home to work on overnight, something to get me published here and there without being too stressful, something to get me class credits while also being flexible enough to allow me to take off when I needed to be there for Tait at her wedding or visit my parents.
All truly great. There was just one liiiiiiittle thing.
Several different factors have combined to create the PERFECT STORM of awkwardness at this job.
First and foremost, the room is layed out super awk. There is a main part, and then I'm off in this little weird side nook blocked by a huge bookshelf. Which means I can hear but not see the two females that work in the same room. This makes me feel like I am constantly eavesdropping and also makes it very difficult to enter smoothly into conversation. Awkward.
Secondly, for about a week when I first began working, two of the people who work in my room and the Accounts Executive often discussed ads, coming up with different ways to make them dirty double entendres. I found this hilarious – however, could there be a more awkward thing to just jump in on a joke about? Especially when I'm just this random disembodied voice around the corner? And they only met me two days ago? So instead, I just awkwardly and quietly sat there, typing away.
I also don't really fit with any particular social group in the office. The people I am closest to in age (although they are all a bit older) are all longer-term, paid employees. I, on the other hand, am an unpaid intern [see: slave labor]. The rest of the unpaid interns are in high school, and when they aren't filing or being sent on assignments or making copies or whatever, they are clustered about giggling and facebooking. Yet I am still considered an intern, same as them. Being the only intern older than Justin Bieber = awkward.
Another issue: the fact that my computer tower is, for some unexplained reason, on the floor. But the cord connecting the keyboard to the tower is really short, so the tower has to be pulled really far forward - in fact, directly where my knees SHOULD go. This causes me to shift a lot, trying to find a comfortable position to look at the screen/type on the keyboard. So then I'm the awkward, fidgety intern.
Then, things get quiet a lot when everyone digs into their work, so I tend to put my headphones in and listen to music on my phone. Of course, as soon as I do, everyone else starts chatting again and I'm suddenly awkward and anti-social.
Another another issue: When I need a break from staring at the computer screen, I can either look at the white wall a foot to my left (ugly and not very interesting) or into the rest of the room to my right. Obviously I choose to stare off to the right, into the main part of the room and out the windows (which, in true city fashion, give us a fabulous view of the windows of the building right next to us). However, I fear that gazing in this direction makes Evan, the co-worker whose desk is the only one in my field of vision, think I am constantly staring at him. Awkward stalker intern.
And then there are the times another co-worker, Alex, comes in and chats with the other girls around the corner (this occurs pretty often). Randomly they will go from speaking at a normal volume to whispering almost inaudibly to each other. I'm sure they aren't talking about me though... right? RIGHT?? I swear I'm not paranoid and awkward.
In what might be the worst one, I get really thirsty at work, so I am often getting up to re-fill my water bottle. Unfortunately, this makes me also have to get up to hit the ladies' room pretty often too. I'm pretty sure my co-workers believe I have bladder issues (in addition to being obsessed with Evan). Extra awkward.
Finally, there are even some things that are awk but (surprisingly) not caused by me:
All truly great. There was just one liiiiiiittle thing.
Several different factors have combined to create the PERFECT STORM of awkwardness at this job.
First and foremost, the room is layed out super awk. There is a main part, and then I'm off in this little weird side nook blocked by a huge bookshelf. Which means I can hear but not see the two females that work in the same room. This makes me feel like I am constantly eavesdropping and also makes it very difficult to enter smoothly into conversation. Awkward.
Secondly, for about a week when I first began working, two of the people who work in my room and the Accounts Executive often discussed ads, coming up with different ways to make them dirty double entendres. I found this hilarious – however, could there be a more awkward thing to just jump in on a joke about? Especially when I'm just this random disembodied voice around the corner? And they only met me two days ago? So instead, I just awkwardly and quietly sat there, typing away.
I also don't really fit with any particular social group in the office. The people I am closest to in age (although they are all a bit older) are all longer-term, paid employees. I, on the other hand, am an unpaid intern [see: slave labor]. The rest of the unpaid interns are in high school, and when they aren't filing or being sent on assignments or making copies or whatever, they are clustered about giggling and facebooking. Yet I am still considered an intern, same as them. Being the only intern older than Justin Bieber = awkward.
Another issue: the fact that my computer tower is, for some unexplained reason, on the floor. But the cord connecting the keyboard to the tower is really short, so the tower has to be pulled really far forward - in fact, directly where my knees SHOULD go. This causes me to shift a lot, trying to find a comfortable position to look at the screen/type on the keyboard. So then I'm the awkward, fidgety intern.
Then, things get quiet a lot when everyone digs into their work, so I tend to put my headphones in and listen to music on my phone. Of course, as soon as I do, everyone else starts chatting again and I'm suddenly awkward and anti-social.
Another another issue: When I need a break from staring at the computer screen, I can either look at the white wall a foot to my left (ugly and not very interesting) or into the rest of the room to my right. Obviously I choose to stare off to the right, into the main part of the room and out the windows (which, in true city fashion, give us a fabulous view of the windows of the building right next to us). However, I fear that gazing in this direction makes Evan, the co-worker whose desk is the only one in my field of vision, think I am constantly staring at him. Awkward stalker intern.
And then there are the times another co-worker, Alex, comes in and chats with the other girls around the corner (this occurs pretty often). Randomly they will go from speaking at a normal volume to whispering almost inaudibly to each other. I'm sure they aren't talking about me though... right? RIGHT?? I swear I'm not paranoid and awkward.
In what might be the worst one, I get really thirsty at work, so I am often getting up to re-fill my water bottle. Unfortunately, this makes me also have to get up to hit the ladies' room pretty often too. I'm pretty sure my co-workers believe I have bladder issues (in addition to being obsessed with Evan). Extra awkward.
Finally, there are even some things that are awk but (surprisingly) not caused by me:
- One of the wireless internet networks my phone picks up is called "PlunderBunny." What does that mean?! Actually, I don't want to know.
- On days when I'm not here, another intern uses my desk/computer. Some of the things I have found in the recent Google searches include "how to remove corns on toes," "are scones bad for you," and "what size should women be." She also spends a good bit of time on Facebook it appears.
- It is freezing in the office to the point where I wear normal clothes to commute here but pack a cardigan, jacket AND scarf in my purse. This is not okay.
So with that, farewell internship. Every awesome, yet awkward, bit of you.
Friday, July 8, 2011
sexism from feminists?
Recently a female I know wrote about leaving behind a man in order to have a successful career.
People who say that women can't be successful with a man, that they can't have a fulfilling career and a family simultaneously make me mad. But when WOMEN say it... that is simply unacceptable. I am infuriated.
Women have enough to overcome without suffering negativity like that from our own kind. They may think they are promoting feminism, but really they are just advancing sexism in a different way. That, in a word, sucks. I have always considered myself a feminist, but I cannot support this way of thinking.
Success in the career path I've put myself on, journalism, depends largely on access to the big stories (read: living in a big city) or digging deeply into interesting topics (read: spending a lot of time away from home following the story).
So that being said, would I rather be working for a big-name newspaper, covering the top stories in the world if it means coming home to an empty apartment?
Or taking a job that's considered less prestigious in order to wake up next to my best friend every morning, share dinner every night and laugh every day?
There's really no comparison.
Should I have to choose? No. Will I have to choose? Likely. As will my fiance. We will make the choice based on what works best for the BOTH of us. I will not follow him blindly – but he will not follow me blindly either. Equality is about making it work the best you can for everyone, and the best for everyone usually requires some compromise.
I am adamantly against the wage differences between males and females and nothing incenses me more than the glass ceiling, but turning the tables and making men inferior or unnecessary to our lives isn't what feminism and equalism should be about.
Sometimes a job will be worth more than a relationship, that is undeniable and I'm not arguing with that. What I'm saying is that when you find the relationship you want to pursue for the rest of your life, maybe a job and money and material success isn't worth losing that over and it has nothing to do with feminism or success or anything else – it has to do with going for the thing that makes you happy, and will continue to make you happy for years to come.
I keep seeing this Lady Gaga quote pop up on people's facebooks and elsewhere on the internet:
People who say that women can't be successful with a man, that they can't have a fulfilling career and a family simultaneously make me mad. But when WOMEN say it... that is simply unacceptable. I am infuriated.
Women have enough to overcome without suffering negativity like that from our own kind. They may think they are promoting feminism, but really they are just advancing sexism in a different way. That, in a word, sucks. I have always considered myself a feminist, but I cannot support this way of thinking.
Success in the career path I've put myself on, journalism, depends largely on access to the big stories (read: living in a big city) or digging deeply into interesting topics (read: spending a lot of time away from home following the story).
So that being said, would I rather be working for a big-name newspaper, covering the top stories in the world if it means coming home to an empty apartment?
Or taking a job that's considered less prestigious in order to wake up next to my best friend every morning, share dinner every night and laugh every day?
There's really no comparison.
Should I have to choose? No. Will I have to choose? Likely. As will my fiance. We will make the choice based on what works best for the BOTH of us. I will not follow him blindly – but he will not follow me blindly either. Equality is about making it work the best you can for everyone, and the best for everyone usually requires some compromise.
I am adamantly against the wage differences between males and females and nothing incenses me more than the glass ceiling, but turning the tables and making men inferior or unnecessary to our lives isn't what feminism and equalism should be about.
Sometimes a job will be worth more than a relationship, that is undeniable and I'm not arguing with that. What I'm saying is that when you find the relationship you want to pursue for the rest of your life, maybe a job and money and material success isn't worth losing that over and it has nothing to do with feminism or success or anything else – it has to do with going for the thing that makes you happy, and will continue to make you happy for years to come.
I keep seeing this Lady Gaga quote pop up on people's facebooks and elsewhere on the internet:
"Some women choose to follow men, and some women choose to follow their dreams. If you're wondering which way to go, remember that your career will never wake up and tell you that it doesn't love you anymore." — Lady GagaMy question is, your career might not tell you it doesn't love you anymore... but will it ever tell you it loves you in the first place?
Sunday, June 19, 2011
To Dad, a Poem
They say roses are red, and I've heard violets are blue,
People say I look like mom, but I think just like you.
We're two of a kind, you know, you and me
Both super awkward, until we imbibe in a drink or three!
We both like red meat, good wine and games with words
And when it comes down to it, we're both total nerds.
I have your brain and competitive streak, no lie
In fact, while playing Scrabble you once told me, "Girl, eat shit and die!"
I'm daddy's little girl and I'd have it no other way,
Thanks for being my dad, this and every other day.
Happy Father's Day, Daddio!
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
The Help, and thoughts on Mississippi
It's hard to categorize a book like The Help. Part fiction, part history, part ethnography, part biography, part autobiography, part coming-of-age story... Kathryn Stockett has put all these genres into a blender, added a liberal helping of sweet tea and pressed blend.
It took a while to get the steam rolling, as with so many books, but by the time the three protagonists – nerdy white girl - slash - (fellow!) journalist Skeeter and the two black maids, hotheaded Minny and motherly Abileen – were secretly meeting to write their book, I was hooked. I finished the entire second half in one sitting.
Stockett writes about the south as only one who is intimately familiar with it can, and (even though I'm not technically from the south) so much of this book hit home with me – from the brief snippets of southern sorority life ("A Chi Omega never walks with a cigarette.") to the distinct drawl to the sometimes old-fashioned, sometimes elitist attitudes.
One thing I was particularly impressed with is that while there are clearly characters you are meant to cheer for and those you are meant to root against, no character is painted black or white (play on words unintended, but appreciated). Even the most loathsome female character, Junior League President and resident mean girl Hilly Holbrook, has redeeming qualities – at least she truly loves and appreciates her children, which is more than can be said for the generally more sympathetic Elizabeth Leefolt. All the characters have flaws as well as worthy traits. They all have secrets and shames that they share or hide.
In the same way, Mississippi of the 60's isn't necessarily portrayed in a glowing light, but nor is it the uncouth, dangerous, uneducated place it can be known as. It is fleshed out, the good and the bad. It's real.
Anyone who is remotely interested in southern culture, race relations in the U.S., the civil rights movement or good storytelling should read this book. We think we've come so far from separate bathrooms, but this book reminds us that, despite our progress, we are still much the same as we were in the 1960’s – for better or worse. In this way, The Help manages to feel both historical and somehow modern.
Beyond the universality of the larger themes, though, I think this book is especially wonderful to read as a Jacksonian or a Mississippian. New York, Boston and L.A. have their books and movies in spades. But to read Corinth, Mississippi and Ole Miss and Millsaps College in a New York Times bestseller is pretty cool.
In the back of the book, Stockett wrote a short essay explaining why she wrote The Help. In it, she puts into words the complicated relationship I think many of us have with our state (I lived there for eight years, I'm totally claiming it). The whole essay can be found on her website, but this is the excerpt I relate to the most:
Although I seriously doubt the movie will top the book (no offense any of the filmmakers, I simply believe the book is better than the movie in 98% of all cases), I am really looking forward to the film version. Not only because it stars my current girlcrush Emma Stone, but also because I can't wait to see Jackson and Stockett's characters brought to life on the big screen.
I read that the filmmaker directing the upcoming movie version is a friend of Stockett's from way back and also grew up in Jackson, MS. She insisted that the movie be filmed in their home state and told Entertainment Weekly, "We dumped, like, 17 million bucks into a very poor county in Mississippi.”
I'm proud of that too. Because Mississippi is my mother too.
It took a while to get the steam rolling, as with so many books, but by the time the three protagonists – nerdy white girl - slash - (fellow!) journalist Skeeter and the two black maids, hotheaded Minny and motherly Abileen – were secretly meeting to write their book, I was hooked. I finished the entire second half in one sitting.
Stockett writes about the south as only one who is intimately familiar with it can, and (even though I'm not technically from the south) so much of this book hit home with me – from the brief snippets of southern sorority life ("A Chi Omega never walks with a cigarette.") to the distinct drawl to the sometimes old-fashioned, sometimes elitist attitudes.
One thing I was particularly impressed with is that while there are clearly characters you are meant to cheer for and those you are meant to root against, no character is painted black or white (play on words unintended, but appreciated). Even the most loathsome female character, Junior League President and resident mean girl Hilly Holbrook, has redeeming qualities – at least she truly loves and appreciates her children, which is more than can be said for the generally more sympathetic Elizabeth Leefolt. All the characters have flaws as well as worthy traits. They all have secrets and shames that they share or hide.
In the same way, Mississippi of the 60's isn't necessarily portrayed in a glowing light, but nor is it the uncouth, dangerous, uneducated place it can be known as. It is fleshed out, the good and the bad. It's real.
Anyone who is remotely interested in southern culture, race relations in the U.S., the civil rights movement or good storytelling should read this book. We think we've come so far from separate bathrooms, but this book reminds us that, despite our progress, we are still much the same as we were in the 1960’s – for better or worse. In this way, The Help manages to feel both historical and somehow modern.
Beyond the universality of the larger themes, though, I think this book is especially wonderful to read as a Jacksonian or a Mississippian. New York, Boston and L.A. have their books and movies in spades. But to read Corinth, Mississippi and Ole Miss and Millsaps College in a New York Times bestseller is pretty cool.
In the back of the book, Stockett wrote a short essay explaining why she wrote The Help. In it, she puts into words the complicated relationship I think many of us have with our state (I lived there for eight years, I'm totally claiming it). The whole essay can be found on her website, but this is the excerpt I relate to the most:
The rash of negative accounts about Mississippi, in the movies, in the papers, on television, have made us natives a wary, defensive bunch. We are full of pride and shame, but mostly pride.
Still, I got out of there. I moved to New York City when I was twenty-four. I learned that the first question anyone asked anybody, in a town so transient, was “Where are you from?” And I’d say, “Mississippi.” And then I’d wait.
To people who smiled and said, “I’ve heard it’s beautiful down there,” I’d say, “My hometown is number three in the nation for gang-related murders.” To people who said, “God you must be glad to be out of that place,” I’d bristle and say, “What do you know? It’s beautiful down there.”
Once, at a roof party, a drunk man from a rich white Metro North-train type of town asked me where I was from and I told him Mississippi. He sneered and said, “I am so sorry.”
I nailed his foot down with the stiletto portion of my shoe and spent the next ten minutes quietly educating him on the where-from-abouts of William Faulkner, Eudora Welty, Tennessee Williams, Elvis Presley, B. B. King, Oprah Winfrey, Jim Henson, Faith Hill, James Earl Jones, and Craig Clairborne, the food editor and critic for The New York Times. I informed him that Mississippi hosted the first lung transplant and the first heart transplant and that the basis of the United States legal system was developed at the University of Mississippi.
I was homesick and I’d been waiting for somebody like him.
I wasn’t very genteel or ladylike, and the poor guy squirmed away and looked nervous for the rest of the party. But I couldn’t help it.
Mississippi is like my mother. I am allowed to complain about her all I want, but God help the person who raises an ill word about her around me, unless she is their mother too.I love this. It can't be said much better.
Although I seriously doubt the movie will top the book (no offense any of the filmmakers, I simply believe the book is better than the movie in 98% of all cases), I am really looking forward to the film version. Not only because it stars my current girlcrush Emma Stone, but also because I can't wait to see Jackson and Stockett's characters brought to life on the big screen.
I read that the filmmaker directing the upcoming movie version is a friend of Stockett's from way back and also grew up in Jackson, MS. She insisted that the movie be filmed in their home state and told Entertainment Weekly, "We dumped, like, 17 million bucks into a very poor county in Mississippi.”
I'm proud of that too. Because Mississippi is my mother too.
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Summer Reading List
With all this newfound free time the summer has provided me, I have big plans to catch up on the reading I have had to forsake in the name of "school."
I was originally going to take an Arts Criticism class during the second summer term, but I got a summer internship at a regional magazine called Art New England - yay! - which I'm going to do instead. But the internet is basically as good a teacher as real professors, right?? (No.) And everyone wants to read my opinions on everything, right??? (Unlikely.) So I will be practicing my reviewin' skillz here on the blog.
I was originally going to take an Arts Criticism class during the second summer term, but I got a summer internship at a regional magazine called Art New England - yay! - which I'm going to do instead. But the internet is basically as good a teacher as real professors, right?? (No.) And everyone wants to read my opinions on everything, right??? (Unlikely.) So I will be practicing my reviewin' skillz here on the blog.
Here is my summer reading list:
Just kidding, that's our whole beautiful bursting bookshelf. Here is my real list:
1. The Help, which I actually just finished yesterday. I had to read it before the movie came out and I'm so glad I did. This will probably be my first review...
2. Catch Me if You Can. I am about halfway through this. I wanted to finish it before going to see the new musical of the same name in NYC with my mom and Tait, but I wasn't able to. Still, it's already interesting what is different and what is the same among the book, movie and musical.
3. Bossypants. I read this in about two days last week. Great read, particularly because Brian and I are currently making our way through every episode of 30 Rock in order. (We're through the fourth season, now just waiting for the fifth to come out on DVD/Netflix.)
4. The Glass Books of the Dream Eaters, Vol II. I read Volume I sometime last year, before grad school started and consumed my life. I started Vol. II but had to pause while we moved to Boston and a year later, I'm going to finally finish the dang thing.
5. Black Mass. This book was co-written by one of my professors from the fall semester. It is the true story of an infamous Irish mobster in Boston – the movie The Departed drew a lot of inspiration from this book (although they don't credit it).
6. A Writer's Life. One of the books I got signed at the narrative nonfiction conference, by a journalist who has been doing it forever.
7. The Bullfighter Checks Her Makeup: My Encounters with Extraordinary People. The other book I got signed at the conference (see my love letter to the author here), a collection of shorter pieces.
8. My Booky Wook. I started this one over Christmas, but again kept having to put it down when the spring semester started up and never finished. I promise this isn't a thing with me, I typically finish every book I read (as long as it's good of course), but this past year has been rough on the ole' book list.
9. American Nerd: the Story of My People. Judging from the title, I might as well have written this book myself.
10. Lost in Shangri-La. This is a new release (another narrative nonfiction) that one of my professors from the spring semester wrote. It got some seriously huge buzz, top of all kinds of lists like Amazon's Best Books of the Month, etc.
And, because I'm insane, here is my B list in case I finish all the first ones quickly:
1. The Eight. I have a few books that I can read over and over again, and this is one of them. As evidenced by the wear, it has been read many many times, by both of my parents as well as myself.
2-4. The Hunger Games trilogy. Even though I just read all of these last summer right before school started (when Mockingjay, the third book, arrived I opened it and didn't move until I finished it many hours later), I'm ready to read them again. They are a near-perfect balance of fun/easy and thought-provoking/emotional, bested in the so-called "young adult" category only by His Dark Materials and Harry Potter.
5. The Secret History. I've been told this book is reminiscent of Millsaps (it's set at Bennington College in Vermont, a small liberal arts college). Plus, another Mississippi writer!
6. The Search for God and Guinness. This is one of those books I picked up on a whim but has sat on my shelf ever since, unread. I got it in a fit of home-away-from-homesickness shortly after I got back from my semester in Ireland. Since I've been feeling that same homesickness for a place that was only my home a short while, this seems like a great time to finally get around to reading about the genius of Arthur Guinness.
7. The Book of Lost Things. One of my favorite genres is actually fantasy/adventure, and this is supposed to be a "vivid journey through the loss of innocence into adulthood and beyond" about a 12-year-old who loves to read during WWII. Sounds right up my alley.
8. Catch-22. A book I've started several times since high school but failed to finish. I know it's a classic and blah blah blah but I just could never get into it. Maybe its time has come? We will see.
Not pictured: Harry Potters one through seven.
Yes, I really want to read all 4,100 pages* again before the final movie installment comes out except that SOMEONE** refused to let me bring our hardcover copies to Boston*** and I haven't yet dropped the $100+ on a new set.
And because I am ridiculous, here is the C list, comprised of books I don't own yet, but will buy if I finish both the A and B lists:
1. The Good Man Jesus and the Scoundrel Christ. Philip Pullman is one of my favorite authors, and one of the most versatile writers I know. This is his latest and I've been wanting to read it since it came out.
2. Eating Animals. Although I don't think I'll ever be able to give up meat completely, I think it's good to know more about our food and the culture around it, and this book should fit the bill nicely.
3. Gunn's Golden Rules: Life's Little Rules for Making it Work. This is actually more of an etiquette-based book rather than a fashion manual, but it also has lots of stories from Gunn's life. Which I plan to read entirely using the accent he has when he says, "Designers! Time to go to the runway!"
4. The Warmth of Other Suns. At the nonfiction narrative conference I attended, this book was basically the poster child of the genre and the author is on staff at BU, so I probably should read it.
5. Spoiled. Young adult ain't just for kids! The women behind one of my favorite blogs, gofugyourself.com, are also the authors of this book. Fun beach read? Check.
6. The Psychopath Test. This book was featured on a re-run of The Daily Show I caught last week. It's all about the ways in which power and psychopathy (psychopathness?) intersect. It looks super interesting, but also... I just want to know if I'm a psychopath, y'all.
2. Eating Animals. Although I don't think I'll ever be able to give up meat completely, I think it's good to know more about our food and the culture around it, and this book should fit the bill nicely.
3. Gunn's Golden Rules: Life's Little Rules for Making it Work. This is actually more of an etiquette-based book rather than a fashion manual, but it also has lots of stories from Gunn's life. Which I plan to read entirely using the accent he has when he says, "Designers! Time to go to the runway!"
4. The Warmth of Other Suns. At the nonfiction narrative conference I attended, this book was basically the poster child of the genre and the author is on staff at BU, so I probably should read it.
5. Spoiled. Young adult ain't just for kids! The women behind one of my favorite blogs, gofugyourself.com, are also the authors of this book. Fun beach read? Check.
6. The Psychopath Test. This book was featured on a re-run of The Daily Show I caught last week. It's all about the ways in which power and psychopathy (psychopathness?) intersect. It looks super interesting, but also... I just want to know if I'm a psychopath, y'all.
So! This is what y'all can look forward to learning about in the coming months as I inch my way through glorious prose.
* Yes, I looked it up, and that is the total number of pages in the US editions. Nice round number, don't you think?
** My mother.
*** I did, however, sneak all the DVDs up to Massachusetts before she noticed.
** My mother.
*** I did, however, sneak all the DVDs up to Massachusetts before she noticed.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
LL Cool House
I've been getting really into home decor lately. All I want to do is organize and decorate and fancy up our humble abode but unfortunately that costs a lot of money, so instead I obsessively look at design blogs and tear pages out of magazines and try to figure out how to make it happen one ebay purchase and can of spray paint at a time.
I'm inspired by a lot of different things, from the insanely awesome (Vogue) to the affordable (Real Simple). One thing I definitely want to work on is our art collection. We have a lot of photos, mainly personal and travel related, but I would really like some real art pieces for the walls and cool furniture to make this place personal.
One home I recently found in an old issue of In Style was that of LL Cool J. I secretly love LL Cool J because a) he freaking named himself Ladies Love Cool James and everyone acts like it is totes norm and b) he is pretty good on NCIS: LA which I don't follow necessarily but will watch four episodes in a row On Demand when the mood strikes and not even feel bad.
Also, this:
Cute family, right? But wait, is that? Am I seeing this correctly? Above the mantle?
YES.
I'm inspired by a lot of different things, from the insanely awesome (Vogue) to the affordable (Real Simple). One thing I definitely want to work on is our art collection. We have a lot of photos, mainly personal and travel related, but I would really like some real art pieces for the walls and cool furniture to make this place personal.
One home I recently found in an old issue of In Style was that of LL Cool J. I secretly love LL Cool J because a) he freaking named himself Ladies Love Cool James and everyone acts like it is totes norm and b) he is pretty good on NCIS: LA which I don't follow necessarily but will watch four episodes in a row On Demand when the mood strikes and not even feel bad.
Also, this:
Cute family, right? But wait, is that? Am I seeing this correctly? Above the mantle?
YES.
There is no portrait in existence more mantle-worthy than this. I've taken the liberty of pointing out some of the beautiful details in this masterpiece (besides the abs, which I feel do not need to be pointed out because LOOK AT THEM).
Clockwise from the top:
1. That hat. What is that hat?!
2. The formality and stoicism of Mrs. Cool J is something to be admired.
3. Jesus God that's a large swath of underwear.
4. The rosary - I assume it is fully diamond encrusted.
5. The veins in his arm. Ew. Chill on the pushups, J.
So although we are still working on acquiring paintings (artsy friends, I'm talking to you!) and other artwork and funky doodads, I am excited about what will soon be hanging above our very own mantle:
Now THAT is what I call an engagement photo.
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