Brides and Bridezillas

I don't know if there is anything that turns sane women into frothing, frenzied, frantic lunatics faster than a wedding. Society has turned a woman's wedding day into THE MOST IMPORTANT DAY EVER IN LIFE EVER IT MUST BE PERFECT OR ELSE. Women go to really insane extremes to make their day flawless. (Can you say Bridalplasty?) From stuff like Say Yes to the Dress (which I totally watch every time it's on, to my own chagrin), where the consultants regularly scoff at customers wishing to spend less than $2,000 on a dress they will wear once, to Mississippi Magazine's very popular wedding issue (which I worked on one summer and got to interact with some of these brides and worse - brides' moms), featuring Southern brides who insist on a full marching band, a 12 tier cake and 26 attendants, all decked out in fuchsia satin.

Whether it's their own wedding, Kate Middleton's, their best friend's or some random stranger's, women are obsessed.

And I think that is kind of dangerous. To make one day and the success thereof the indicating factor in not only the triumph of your marriage but the worth of your life is terrible. To put such pressure on the day will inevitably lead to failure - nothing is perfect, nothing can withstand that kind of scrutiny. Someone is going to spill or step or sneeze on your dress. Some family member is going to get too drunk and be embarrassing. Your nose or your ears or your knobbly knuckles are going to stick out and won't look like Kate Middleton's will (damn her). The flowers are going to droop, or the cake is going to smear or you are going to get a puffy red nose by sobbing through your vows (this WILL happen to me).

Once I start immersing myself in the planning process for this leviathan, my goal is to remind myself every day of these facts. And to remind myself that it's okay. I think I'm far too susceptible to wanting or expecting perfection for my own good. I want my wedding to be the best day of my life. But I want it to be so because I spend it with my very best friend (who also happens to be a hot piece of ass that is now stuck with me forever, yesssss). I want it to be so because all my family and friends are there, having the time of their lives. Not because I look really skinny that day or the decorator got the Chinese lanterns just right - although, you know, that stuff would be cool.

I want our day to be a reflection of us - every nerdy, silly, messy, geeky, inebriated, beautiful piece of us.