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Saturday, January 22, 2011

look out, 2014 olympics..?

Y'all. Everything hurts.

Why you ask? (I'll pretend you asked.) Three words: Snow. Board. Ing.

Yeah, that's right. Shaun White and I don't just have red hair in common. We also shred major powder, brah.

Unfortunately, snowboarding requires both balance and coordination, two things I am lacking. Nearly entirely. Like, it's bad. I regularly run straight into coffee tables and doorframes and stumble over the slightest pebble or crack in the sidewalk.

So obviously, I am not the ultimate in 'boarding. I still love it though, so when Brian planned for us to hit the slopes I was pumped. And also a bit nervous, since the last time I had been skiing or snowboarding was when I took lessons in the eighth grade. The most memorable moment of those lessons is when I was boarding (slowly and awkwardly and always on the verge of falling) down the mountain and I heard a wolf whistle. I was not an overly popular middle schooler - or moderately popular middle schooler, in fact, so thinking that someone on the ski lift might possibly be whistling at me, I got really excited and lifted my arm to wave at who I thought was whistling... and BUSTED IT face first.

ANYWAY, so Saturday, after spending 45 minutes (no exaggeration) digging our vehicle out of the snow and ice pit it was in after three Boston snowstorms, we headed up to Nashoba Ski Valley for our snowventure. We got there just in time for the noon lesson. We were fitted and hustled out to the baby slopes, where we were met by a barely-pubescent teacher for an hour's worth of snowboarding lessons. Every time the sixteen-year-old snowboard "instructor" (aka kid who was exchanging an hour of teaching newbies for a day of hitting the slopes) had us doing a J-turn or a toe-side stop or whatever else, I bit it. Fell every time. And every time, as I sat in the snow, the pimply teacher and I met eyes and trilled, "Balance!"... And I thought, "heh heh, I'll JACK YOU UP, you punk kid."

Anyway again, we finished our lesson and went to take on the big hill. After falling epicly getting off the snow lift (the liftworker actually shut the whole thing down just to mock us specially), we strapped in and headed down the mountain.

And you know what? I didn't fall! And Brian did! Okay, that's only because I stuck with the easiest thing, the "falling leaf" maneuver where you board back and forth without turning around, while Brian tried to attempt the toe-side turns and turns and other real moves. But, can I just say that my technique led to me reaching the bottom of the mountain well before Brian, who at one point fell head over feet down the hill?? I can.

In the end, we both had a blast. Brian fell several times while attempting intense speeds and cool moves. I fell several times getting off the lift and trying to ease down the mountain at a snail's mph.

It. Was. Awesome.

And now, I. Can't. Move. Every muscle hurts. Mostly the buttocks. Also the shoulders and lower abs. But DAMN, Y'ALL, does my ass hurt.

When can we go again?!?

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