LL Cool House

I've been getting really into home decor lately. All I want to do is organize and decorate and fancy up our humble abode but unfortunately that costs a lot of money, so instead I obsessively look at design blogs and tear pages out of magazines and try to figure out how to make it happen one ebay purchase and can of spray paint at a time.

I'm inspired by a lot of different things, from the insanely awesome (Vogue) to the affordable (Real Simple). One thing I definitely want to work on is our art collection. We have a lot of photos, mainly personal and travel related, but I would really like some real art pieces for the walls and cool furniture to make this place personal.

One home I recently found in an old issue of In Style was that of LL Cool J. I secretly love LL Cool J because a) he freaking named himself Ladies Love Cool James and everyone acts like it is totes norm and b) he is pretty good on NCIS: LA which I don't follow necessarily but will watch four episodes in a row On Demand when the mood strikes and not even feel bad.

Also, this:

Cute family, right? But wait, is that? Am I seeing this correctly? Above the mantle?

YES.

There is no portrait in existence more mantle-worthy than this. I've taken the liberty of pointing out some of the beautiful details in this masterpiece (besides the abs, which I feel do not need to be pointed out because LOOK AT THEM). 

Clockwise from the top:

1. That hat. What is that hat?!

2. The formality and stoicism of Mrs. Cool J is something to be admired. 

3. Jesus God that's a large swath of underwear. 

4. The rosary - I assume it is fully diamond encrusted.

5. The veins in his arm. Ew. Chill on the pushups, J. 

So although we are still working on acquiring paintings (artsy friends, I'm talking to you!) and other artwork and funky doodads, I am excited about what will soon be hanging above our very own mantle:

Now THAT is what I call an engagement photo.

from my mind grapes: meeting Susan Orlean

Finals week nearly broke me. Last last Monday, after only two hours of sleep and about twenty hours of writing one of my courses met for the final class at the professor's favorite bar. I was already drunk with sleeplessness, so you can imagine how I was after a pint of Bud Light... And I still had 28 more hours until I finally turned my last story.

BUT. I'm done now. Actually I was done Wednesday, May 4th at midnight (or Thursday morning, I suppose that would be more accurate), but I've been far too busy napping and forcing Penny to snuggle with me and watching 51 episodes of 30 Rock on the iPad over the past week and a half to blog.

I really haven't known what to do with myself now that I have free time. Okay, that's not true. I know what I should be doing with myself (cleaning, dishes, applying for jobs, etc). But since I don't want to do those things, I haven't known what to do. Or at least what to do first (should I nap then watch mindless TV, or watch mindless TV then nap???). I am very, very excited to have free time and to do things that I want to do without feeling horribly guilty about whatever school thing I'm neglecting to do so. Notably reading. I have been amassing so many books over the past year that I have not had any time to read.

I even got three brand new books in the last week of school, all signed! Y'all. For a nerd like me, signed books are like crack. Especially when they are by SUSAN ORLEAN. Who is Susan Orlean, you may ask? Let me illuminate.

The weekend before all my finals were due, BU hosted their annual Narrative Nonfiction Conference. It was quite possibly the worst timing in the history of the universe, but I went anyway, because a) one of my professors helped organize it and strongly encouraged his students to go (by "encouraged," I mean in class one morning he told us all to stop what we were doing and go RSVP so we could snag the few free student tickets bring offered) and b) there was free food, but also because c) I'm a huge nerd and I love conferences.

It ended up being totally worth it despite losing a day and a half of work because I got to see, listen to and meet one of my writing idols, acclaimed nonfiction novelist and writer for The New Yorker Susan Orlean. (...Sort of meet, at least.)

If you don't know who Susan Orlean is, here are some reasons she is awesome and I want to grow up to be her or at least play her in the movie version of her life*:
1) she is an incredible writer
2) she's a ginger
3) she's smoking hot at 56
4) she tweets more than I do
5) she's incredibly enthusiastic, funny and smart
6) did I mention she's an incredible writer?

There were some other amazing speakers too, like Gay Talese (prolific writer as good now at 79 as he was at 24 - or perhaps vice versa), Isabel Wilkerson (author of the book that the nonfiction narrative world is collectively peeing their pants over, The Warmth of Other Suns) and Jill Abramson (managing editor of The New York Times, aka the holy text of our people).

But Susan was the one I was the most excited to see. And she did not disappoint, with the most honest and useful and entertaining keynote of the conference.

And then after all the panels and keynotes and readings of excerpts, there was a reception with awesome cheeses and wine (again, worst timing ever; all events with free alcohol should be held at least two weekends before finals, don't they KNOW that?!) and book signings.

Which brings me to meeting Susan Orlean. She signed my book!

I told her she inspired us students to persevere through our finals! Note: Figuring out what to say at a book signing is seriously the most awkward thing ever.

I (and two other students) took a picture with her!

The guy taking the photo told us we looked "really good" standing behind her like that. I'm pretty sure he doesn't know the difference between "really good" and "incredibly awkward."

We legitimately look like we are stalking Susan Orlean and we just jumped into the background of a solo photo she was taking at the signing table.

But whatever, this is what it looked like in my head anyway:

please note the BFF bracelets Suze made us

Dear Susan,
Please never stop being an awesome redhead. I can't wait to read the book you signed for me. Also please don't put me on some kind of security blacklist for this post, I promise I'm not dangerous.
Love,
Kathleen


* The movie version of her REAL life, not the fictionalized craziness of The Orchid Thief.

Me, the brand

I spent a significant portion of the weekend and almost all of today working on building a website and professional portfolio. It is the final project for my Multimedia Journalism class, and it's one of the most useful assignments ever. I need these things for future job applications and to get my name out there anyway, but having it be an assignment gives me a deadline and the motivation to make it really good. It will be published in about a week and then you can find it at www.kathleenmmorrison.com* (hire me!).

Next step after the website? My own cereal. 

Anyway, it's weird to write about myself so much in such a clinical, professional way. It's worse than a resume (which I have also re-done in the past week, in addition to LinkedIn). And it's been weird trying to figure out what is important to include, especially when it comes to linking to my other online ventures. I wrote some months ago about how new age journalists have to have a significant online and social media presence, which is great, except it also needs to be "clean" and professional, which is not.

I've back and forth for a long time about what to do about my Twitter and Facebook accounts, as well as this blog. I still am not totally sure what to do. A classmate of mine solved the problem by making a "fan" page of himself – you know, the ones you 'like' instead of 'friend.' I don't think I'm quite at that level yet, especially when I only have four online clips to my name.

The thing is, I actually have something to show that I can produce a lot of content on a fairly regular basis -  including text, photos (many of them spruced up or changed entirely via Photoshop), links, opinions, dialogue, a custom layout and more.  It's right here. This blog.

Unfortunately, I don't know if my accounts of Penny's adventures or my inner feelings or the latest ridiculous thing on the internet is really up to par to put on my fancy schmancy, gonna-show-it-to-potential-employers website.

Which makes me sad because I like this blog. I like a lot of things I've written on it. And even the posts I think could have turned out better are an opportunity to figure things out about my writing. Which, as I keep having to remind myself, is why I started this thing in the first place.

So even though my Facebook and personal Twitter are going to stay private, I'm keeping this blog public. I like having my thoughts out there to be read. I like seeing what paths strangers take to stumble upon one post or another (a lot of people have been finding me lately by googling various things about Maine Coons – although one person searched for "Men Coon" which is pretty hilarious to imagine as a real thing). This is the writing I look forward to after the hard, intense struggle to find the right words for a professional feature or profile or news bit. If potential employers happen to find it and are offended, well, I probably don't want to work with someone that uptight anyway, right?

And for anyone keeping track, after my website goes live, my online presence will include:
a) Facebook
b) two Twitter accounts - my personal one and a newer, professional one
c) this blog
d) LinkedIn
e) a professional website
f) a professional portfolio - basically articles, etc. that I've written, compiled in a blog
g) YouTube
...plus, of course, all those random non-social media accounts like eBay and Beluga and StumbleUpon and various online shopping venues.

Jesus, that's a lot of me out there.

* Deciding on that domain name is actually the first time I've really struggled with the whole changing-your-name bit of marriage, but that's a story for another post.

alien brides and jungle cats

You know, searching for THE DRESS is hard enough without crazy photoshopped alien models wearing the dresses you are trying to picture yourself in.

This woman is assuredly very thin and statuesque in real life, but her "legs" are over twice as long as her upper half (Which is now her upper third? See my helpful illustration). PEOPLE ARE NOT MADE LIKE THIS.

To prove my point, I have added another model to compare. I used their heads/arms to make them as close to the same size as possible. Please observe:

Alien lady has at least another foot under her! The scariest part is that the "normal" sized model is probably still ridiculously tall and a size zero-two. People aren't even made like her. I JUST WANT TO LOOK AT A DRESS AND KNOW WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE ON A HUMAN HERE PEOPLE.

Just to drive the point into the ground offer another example (one of tons):

However, if there is one practice I am in FULL support of, it's taking your bridals with a wild baby jungle cat.

Hands up if you think Brian will still be willing to marry me if I recreate these pictures with Penny?

Yeah, that's what I thought too.

Kyleasaurus Rex

So this semester started and I got really busy trying (and mostly failing) to stay super on top of things and obviously the ole blog has suffered for it. I swear one of these days everything in my life will just fall into place and I will master the art of writing articles while washing dishes while teaching Penny to fold clothes while blogging* BUT UNTIL THEN please enjoy Kyle's head on a Tyrannosaurus Rex's body.

* Just kidding, we all know the likelihood of me overcoming procrastination and mastering the art of multitasking on things that actually matter is approximately 0.00000003%

On the Tenth Day of Christmas

my true love gave to me

ten finger puppets!

Because just imagine the magnificent stories you could come up with involving broccoli, Bob Ross, a gnome, the Loch Ness Monster, a kitty cat, toast with grape jelly, Joan from Mad Men, a triceratops, baby Jesus in the manger, and Edgar Allen Poe + raven... I know! It's almost too good. 

...nine awesome apps

eight catnip eyeballs

seven Anthropologie aprons

six fannypacks for your head

FIVE POTTER PRESENTS

four snuggie knockoffs

three Ed Hardy hookahs

two handerpants

and an ornament of yummy sushi

 Category(s): ridiculous... ly awesome

(Find them HERE: broccoli, Bob, gnome, Nessie, kitty, toast, Joan, dino, Jesus, Poe)

On the Sixth Day of Christmas

my true love gave to me

six fanny packs for your head!

Few know this about me, but I am an ardent supporter of the fanny pack. Life would be so much easier if fanny packs were socially acceptable. I think about this all the time. So imagine my surprise and joy the day I discovered THESE exist. The "cap sac." Tagline? A fanny pack for your head.

Yes, that's right. A fanny pack for your head.

Doesn't it sound just glorious?

So if you haven't figured it out, the front there unzips to hold cell phones, money, cameras... Anything you'd need at DisneyWorld, basically. And check out how many colors there are! I already got one for all the members of my zexy sistah family (spoiler alert!) and there's still like NINE more colors available.

I can't wait to carry my important items around in a sassy red fanny pack... FOR MY HEAD. 

...FIVE POTTER PRESENTS

four snuggie knockoffs

three Ed Hardy hookahs

two handerpants

and an ornament of yummy sushi

 Category(s): AWESOME

(Find it HERE)

Happy Halloween!

 

from Joan Holloway, Roger Sterling, Don Draper and Penny (of course).