After getting another parking ticket the other day (we don't get these extremely often, but I'm always so mad at myself when we do) and accidentally waiting to buy some plane tickets to the point that they were VERY expensive and checking my bank account to find out I had a whopping $11 in it, I was feeling really down today about how I've been handling my fiscal and life-cal responsibilities.
I told Brian, "I'm terrible at being an adult."
He responded with, "No, people who abandon their children, who deal drugs and/or purposefully park in handicap zones suck at being adults. We, on the other hand, are just beginners."
Perspective.
Showing posts with label brian. Show all posts
Showing posts with label brian. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Thursday, March 3, 2011
alien brides and jungle cats
You know, searching for THE DRESS is hard enough without crazy photoshopped alien models wearing the dresses you are trying to picture yourself in.
This woman is assuredly very thin and statuesque in real life, but her "legs" are over twice as long as her upper half (Which is now her upper third? See my helpful illustration). PEOPLE ARE NOT MADE LIKE THIS.
To prove my point, I have added another model to compare. I used their heads/arms to make them as close to the same size as possible. Please observe:
However, if there is one practice I am in FULL support of, it's taking your bridals with a wild baby jungle cat.
Hands up if you think Brian will still be willing to marry me if I recreate these pictures with Penny?
Yeah, that's what I thought too.
This woman is assuredly very thin and statuesque in real life, but her "legs" are over twice as long as her upper half (Which is now her upper third? See my helpful illustration). PEOPLE ARE NOT MADE LIKE THIS.
To prove my point, I have added another model to compare. I used their heads/arms to make them as close to the same size as possible. Please observe:
Alien lady has at least another foot under her! The scariest part is that the "normal" sized model is probably still ridiculously tall and a size zero-two. People aren't even made like her. I JUST WANT TO LOOK AT A DRESS AND KNOW WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE ON A HUMAN HERE PEOPLE.
Just to drive the point into the ground offer another example (one of tons):
However, if there is one practice I am in FULL support of, it's taking your bridals with a wild baby jungle cat.
Hands up if you think Brian will still be willing to marry me if I recreate these pictures with Penny?
Yeah, that's what I thought too.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
frattin' is a habit
Brian and I just spent an absurd amount of money on two plane tickets to Jackson, Mississippi and – even though my bank account weeps – I could not be happier. I love Boston and really feel like this is our home now, but Jackson the first home I knew as an adult and it’s the place I met nearly all of my best friends and I haven’t seen it since May and I CAN’T WAIT.
We are heading back in a few weeks for his fraternity's Founder's Day weekend, which means we will spend two days wearing jorts (a delicious feeling that will be after this long and snowy New England winter), drinking beers, eating crawfish and generally reliving college.
Brian’s fraternity has a special place in my heart because during my junior year, they made me one of their sweethearts. It’s a pretty big deal and really very romantic; Brian had to propose it to his brothers and they voted, there was a secret ceremony and I get to wear their jersey with my own number on it. Each fraternity member (they are Lambda Chi Alpha) gets a zeta number when they are initiated, so my number is Brian’s half number: 1246 ½ – cue the awwwwws, ladies.
They call the ceremony “dropping” which sounds like a) something nasty a bird does on your favorite sweater, or b) the guy is dumping his lady in a horribly blunt manner. This led to several versions of the same conversation, in which I would excitedly say the Brian dropped me and the other person would would try to comfort me for my loss.
Anyway, getting dropped would have been a gigantic honor no matter what, but it happened right after I had received a pretty big rejection – one that I’m not 100% over and probably will always be a little bitter about – and it made me feel special all over again and gave me a place that I always felt at home. So what if that place was a beer-stained fraternity house? It was especially nice to have all my “brothers” to hang out with when Brian graduated and we spent a year doing the long-distance thing. The LXAs always made me feel like I belonged there, even though Brian was a million trillion (or however far New Hampshire is from Mississippi) miles away. They became some of my best friends and I really think of some of the freshmen when I was a senior as the little brothers I never had.
See you soon, brothers!
EDIT: I would like to add that as soon as I published this post, the ad on the "it's now published" page said "Alcohol Abuse Problems?"... It really IS like college!
We are heading back in a few weeks for his fraternity's Founder's Day weekend, which means we will spend two days wearing jorts (a delicious feeling that will be after this long and snowy New England winter), drinking beers, eating crawfish and generally reliving college.
 |
| this will be in my tummy so soon |
 |
| yeah, none of these people are Brian... but apparently we never took good pictures together while I was wearing my jersey |
Anyway, getting dropped would have been a gigantic honor no matter what, but it happened right after I had received a pretty big rejection – one that I’m not 100% over and probably will always be a little bitter about – and it made me feel special all over again and gave me a place that I always felt at home. So what if that place was a beer-stained fraternity house? It was especially nice to have all my “brothers” to hang out with when Brian graduated and we spent a year doing the long-distance thing. The LXAs always made me feel like I belonged there, even though Brian was a million trillion (or however far New Hampshire is from Mississippi) miles away. They became some of my best friends and I really think of some of the freshmen when I was a senior as the little brothers I never had.
See you soon, brothers!
EDIT: I would like to add that as soon as I published this post, the ad on the "it's now published" page said "Alcohol Abuse Problems?"... It really IS like college!
Friday, February 11, 2011
how you know you're old
The scene: A typical Thursday night (last night, to be exact).
The players: Brian and myself. Penny was probably sleeping somewhere she's not supposed to be sleeping.
The time: Late evening, sometime after our nightly Jeopardy ritual.
Brian: Baby, while you're in the kitchen, will you get me some Tums?
Me: God, I love it when you talk dirty to me.
The players: Brian and myself. Penny was probably sleeping somewhere she's not supposed to be sleeping.
The time: Late evening, sometime after our nightly Jeopardy ritual.
Brian: Baby, while you're in the kitchen, will you get me some Tums?
Me: God, I love it when you talk dirty to me.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Brian and Kathleen's Big Redneck Wedding
Brian and I are watching bits of "My Big Redneck Wedding" during commercials of the AFC championship game - specifically the "Tamzen and Kevin" episode, if that means anything to anyone. Mainly you just have to know that the bride is a 27-year old, 300-pound country girl and the groom is a 40-year old, 105 pound "dripping ass wet" man and they both love mud and trailers and mullets.
Brian just said, "This show kind of makes me miss Mississippi."
WHAT. Okay, just so y'all know, we are from a place where people do NOT regularly act like this. Or at least, not everybody acts like this. Brian clarified his statement by saying, "I mean people that are unique like this."
But still, WHAT.
Mississippi holds such interesting connotations for me. I have run the full gamut of emotions in my relationship with that state, and yet I know living there absolutely made me the person I am now. It is a place of both complete ignorance and total openmindedness. It is a place of bigotry and acceptance. I suppose, in a way, it is just like any other state, because you will find both terrible judgmental people and awesome, tolerant people. You will find selfish people and philanthropic people. You will find the Tamzen and Kevin's of the world (I'm sure they are very nice people), but you will also find crazy Millsaps professors cussing at their students and hosting classes in bars - and crazy Millsaps students who are the best people I've ever met in my life.
Brian and I will (most likely) be married in Jackson, Mississippi. I will take on a new name and a new role there. It seems fitting - I guess Mississippi isn't done making me the person I am yet.
P.s. Somehow I don't think our wedding will be featured on CMT, however.
Brian just said, "This show kind of makes me miss Mississippi."
WHAT. Okay, just so y'all know, we are from a place where people do NOT regularly act like this. Or at least, not everybody acts like this. Brian clarified his statement by saying, "I mean people that are unique like this."
But still, WHAT.
Mississippi holds such interesting connotations for me. I have run the full gamut of emotions in my relationship with that state, and yet I know living there absolutely made me the person I am now. It is a place of both complete ignorance and total openmindedness. It is a place of bigotry and acceptance. I suppose, in a way, it is just like any other state, because you will find both terrible judgmental people and awesome, tolerant people. You will find selfish people and philanthropic people. You will find the Tamzen and Kevin's of the world (I'm sure they are very nice people), but you will also find crazy Millsaps professors cussing at their students and hosting classes in bars - and crazy Millsaps students who are the best people I've ever met in my life.
Brian and I will (most likely) be married in Jackson, Mississippi. I will take on a new name and a new role there. It seems fitting - I guess Mississippi isn't done making me the person I am yet.
P.s. Somehow I don't think our wedding will be featured on CMT, however.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
RINGing in the New Year... get it??
I had a whole New Year's resolutions post to write, but it will have to wait because I'm MUCH too busy looking at the new sparkly addition to my left hand! Yes, Brian and I are engaged!! He popped the question on January 2nd, starting 2011 off on the most blissful, happy, perfect foot.
Although this picture was taken a couple days before the proposal, I think it adequately sums up my feelings:
Friday, December 17, 2010
adventures with kittens: flying high
Hello from 36,000 feet!
I'm sitting here on a plane, with my kitteh on my lap, my man next to me, a whiskey and cranberry in my hand (that only cost $1.29! Whauuuuuut?*) and no exams to speak of. Today is a good day.
But getting to this point has been quite the adventure. I had an exam Wednesday morning, turned my final project in that afternoon, went to a job interview, met some other TAs for a group grading party, took my computer to the Apple store** and then numbly ate Special K for dinner while staring at CSI. All this after less than four hours of sleep. So Thursday rolled around and I had one day to clean, pack, get Penny ready and do a hundred other menial things to be ready to get to this moment. Long story short, at about midnight-30 I was panicking about everything left on my (lengthy) to-do list and Brian was wishing I'd chill the hell out and Penny was wondering what in the world all those suitcases were for and why I kept trying to get her to enjoy sitting in a little teeny carrier.
To those that know me, it's needless to say that I spent most of the night making lists in my head and trying to remember not to forget stuff and worrying about how my lil girl was going to survive her first flight.
But somehow, we made it through the last-minute packing craziness (including switching everything from my suitcase into a whole new one because I clearly need all seven pairs of these shoes and, even after laying on it, there was no way that sucker was going to zip), the carrying a pet onto the T craziness (of course we got on it at the same time as 854247996 cynical Bostonians on their way to work) and the security craziness (Penny did NOT enjoy having to leave her carrier and go through the metal detector with deafening noises and chaotic smells everywhere)... and here we are.
Thanks for the free wi-fi Delta, and here we come Mississippi!!
* We definitely brought our own mini bottles of booze, put them in the plastic baggie of liquids and security waved it on through. Genius.
** Yes, I have finally joined the ranks of the tech-savvy, Mac-obsessed generation! Think my students will think I'm cool now?
I'm sitting here on a plane, with my kitteh on my lap, my man next to me, a whiskey and cranberry in my hand (that only cost $1.29! Whauuuuuut?*) and no exams to speak of. Today is a good day.
But getting to this point has been quite the adventure. I had an exam Wednesday morning, turned my final project in that afternoon, went to a job interview, met some other TAs for a group grading party, took my computer to the Apple store** and then numbly ate Special K for dinner while staring at CSI. All this after less than four hours of sleep. So Thursday rolled around and I had one day to clean, pack, get Penny ready and do a hundred other menial things to be ready to get to this moment. Long story short, at about midnight-30 I was panicking about everything left on my (lengthy) to-do list and Brian was wishing I'd chill the hell out and Penny was wondering what in the world all those suitcases were for and why I kept trying to get her to enjoy sitting in a little teeny carrier.
To those that know me, it's needless to say that I spent most of the night making lists in my head and trying to remember not to forget stuff and worrying about how my lil girl was going to survive her first flight.
But somehow, we made it through the last-minute packing craziness (including switching everything from my suitcase into a whole new one because I clearly need all seven pairs of these shoes and, even after laying on it, there was no way that sucker was going to zip), the carrying a pet onto the T craziness (of course we got on it at the same time as 854247996 cynical Bostonians on their way to work) and the security craziness (Penny did NOT enjoy having to leave her carrier and go through the metal detector with deafening noises and chaotic smells everywhere)... and here we are.
Thanks for the free wi-fi Delta, and here we come Mississippi!!
* We definitely brought our own mini bottles of booze, put them in the plastic baggie of liquids and security waved it on through. Genius.
** Yes, I have finally joined the ranks of the tech-savvy, Mac-obsessed generation! Think my students will think I'm cool now?
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Bubba Gump Turkey Co.
In the days since we cooked up a giant-ass bird for Thanksgiving, Brian and I have been slowly working our way through the leftovers.
There were the favorites, which went fast:
We finished off the sausage balls in days. The mashed potatoes and peas were scraped out over the weekend. The pie has only the tiniest of slivers remaining. The cranberry sauce is only still around because I insisted on getting four cans (I tried to get even more, but Brian stopped me).
And then there are the forgottens:
I found the gravy today hiding in the back of the fridge where it had reached a level of gelatinous-ness that I am thoroughly uncomfortable with. The chicken and dressing also got tossed.
But its the turkey we've really had to get creative with.
We've had turkey, straight up.
Turkey sandwiches.
Turkey quiche.
Turkey omelettes.
Turkey stew.
Turkey cold.
Turkey hot.
Turkey on it's own.
Turkey in other things.
Turkey popsicles.
Okay, okay, no turkey popsicles... But we're not out yet.
There were the favorites, which went fast:
We finished off the sausage balls in days. The mashed potatoes and peas were scraped out over the weekend. The pie has only the tiniest of slivers remaining. The cranberry sauce is only still around because I insisted on getting four cans (I tried to get even more, but Brian stopped me).
And then there are the forgottens:
I found the gravy today hiding in the back of the fridge where it had reached a level of gelatinous-ness that I am thoroughly uncomfortable with. The chicken and dressing also got tossed.
But its the turkey we've really had to get creative with.
We've had turkey, straight up.
Turkey sandwiches.
Turkey quiche.
Turkey omelettes.
Turkey stew.
Turkey cold.
Turkey hot.
Turkey on it's own.
Turkey in other things.
Turkey popsicles.
Okay, okay, no turkey popsicles... But we're not out yet.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
family food fun!!
Oh my god you guys. I am SO full. I think I'm leaving Thanksgiving week behind me approximately 63 pounds heavier. Instead of going home (other home at least), this year my parents came to our new home in Boston and we literally just ate, drank and played with Penny for four days straight. It was glorious.
And although it was weird not to put up our usual Christmas tree while listening to carols (that is, if you call Celine Dion Christmas, "carols"), it was still a fully holiday-y holiday.
[Sidenote, here is an actual conversation that occurred on Thanksgiving morning as we waited for Nancypants and Russbuckets to arrive and begin the festivities
Me, excited: Babe! Starting at 5:00 today we can start listening to Christmas songs!!
Brian, not as much: No we can't. I'm not listening to Christmas songs until Thanksgiving is officially over.
Me: Babe! Starting at 5 a.m. tomorrow we can start listening to Christmas songs!!!!!
Brian: I hate you.*
*He didn't say this, it just sounds more dramatic. He actually said some nonsense about you can't listen to Christmas tunez until December or some such thing. I called foul and immediately began downloading the Glee Christmas album.
Sidenote over.]
But I have a lot to be thankful for.
I live in an awesome, bustling, cool city with my best friend, who has been known to bring me not only an open beer but also a purring kitten (I know!) while I watch tv on my computer in my pajamas.
I have parents who stock up my cabinet with wine - much more than enough for just Thanksgiving weekend so I can have some after they leave (you guys are the best, Momsy and Popsicle).
I have friendys all over the U.S. who I am lucky to miss so much.
I have some amazing, beautiful sistahs (Bonnie, Anne, Allie and the newbies) who are going to bring me some incredible souvenirs from India (right? RIGHT?!?!?!?!).
I have a tiny tiny kitty who is sleepy and sweet and adorable and playful.
And much more, yadda yadda I am thankful blah blah blah. Let not get too mushy here.
But really. I am.
And although it was weird not to put up our usual Christmas tree while listening to carols (that is, if you call Celine Dion Christmas, "carols"), it was still a fully holiday-y holiday.
[Sidenote, here is an actual conversation that occurred on Thanksgiving morning as we waited for Nancypants and Russbuckets to arrive and begin the festivities
Me, excited: Babe! Starting at 5:00 today we can start listening to Christmas songs!!
Brian, not as much: No we can't. I'm not listening to Christmas songs until Thanksgiving is officially over.
Me: Babe! Starting at 5 a.m. tomorrow we can start listening to Christmas songs!!!!!
Brian: I hate you.*
*He didn't say this, it just sounds more dramatic. He actually said some nonsense about you can't listen to Christmas tunez until December or some such thing. I called foul and immediately began downloading the Glee Christmas album.
Sidenote over.]
But I have a lot to be thankful for.
I live in an awesome, bustling, cool city with my best friend, who has been known to bring me not only an open beer but also a purring kitten (I know!) while I watch tv on my computer in my pajamas.
I have parents who stock up my cabinet with wine - much more than enough for just Thanksgiving weekend so I can have some after they leave (you guys are the best, Momsy and Popsicle).
I have friendys all over the U.S. who I am lucky to miss so much.
I have some amazing, beautiful sistahs (Bonnie, Anne, Allie and the newbies) who are going to bring me some incredible souvenirs from India (right? RIGHT?!?!?!?!).
I have a tiny tiny kitty who is sleepy and sweet and adorable and playful.
And much more, yadda yadda I am thankful blah blah blah. Let not get too mushy here.
But really. I am.
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Saturday, September 25, 2010
SHARKTOPUS
Tonight Brian and I found ourselves drawn to a movie on the SyFy* Channel that promised “a giant aquatic beast on a blood-soaked killing spree.” It was called Sharktopus. Of course, we had to investigate.
The movie starts out with the typical, bikini-clad female swimming in the ocean. Suddenly a triangle fin ominously appears. “Look out!” yells her also-bikinied friend. “A shark!”
Me: “That’s just a shark. Where’s the 'topuss?”
But THEN, the regular shark is eaten bythe WORST cgi I’ve EVER seen the SHARKTOPUS!!!!! Dun dun DUNNNN!!
More highlights included: SHARKTOPUS jumping 50 feet out of the water to snatch bungee jumpers! SHARKTOPUS walking on land! SHARKTOPUS eating VW bugs whole!
And the acting was just… well, let's just let the trailer speak for itself:
Seriously. You made this movie for a dollar, SyFy. And you overpaid.
* It was pretty much the dumbest move ever for SyFy to attempt to rebrand themselves by just spelling SciFi like douchebags.
The movie starts out with the typical, bikini-clad female swimming in the ocean. Suddenly a triangle fin ominously appears. “Look out!” yells her also-bikinied friend. “A shark!”
Me: “That’s just a shark. Where’s the 'topuss?”
But THEN, the regular shark is eaten by
More highlights included: SHARKTOPUS jumping 50 feet out of the water to snatch bungee jumpers! SHARKTOPUS walking on land! SHARKTOPUS eating VW bugs whole!
And the acting was just… well, let's just let the trailer speak for itself:
Seriously. You made this movie for a dollar, SyFy. And you overpaid.
* It was pretty much the dumbest move ever for SyFy to attempt to rebrand themselves by just spelling SciFi like douchebags.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
BESTIES IN BOSTON BONANZA 2010
Our behavior could be summed up in one word: undergrads.
Some unnamed snarky snarkmonster allegedly asked “Do they know they’re not in college anymore?”
Just wait, snarky snarkmonster. Ask that again when you’ve graduated.
If I had to do any period of my life over again, it would be college, no doubt. And I probably wouldn’t change much. College was the best time of my life. I would make the same choices, because they led me to the best friends I could ask for.
But if I had any one wish, I wouldn’t wish to just do college over. I would wish… well I guess I would wish for world peace so everyone didn’t think I was a total asshole. But if I had one selfish wish, I would wish that all my and all my favorite people’s chosen homes – Boston, NYC, Bradenton, Jackson, D.C., Memphis, Dallas, etc. – were all in the same state (a small one… more like Massachusetts than Texas). I just wish the amazing times from college could continue uninterrupted into adulthood. I wish we could have more weekends like this.
 |
| we are terriers!! |
 |
| let's see if we remember how to do this... |
 |
| besties 4 lyfe |
Sunday, August 22, 2010
life's important questions
The scene:
Our living room, last night.
The players:
1. Me, on the couch in my underwear watching Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire on ABC Family, passed out due to massive amounts of Mexican food and red wine; possibly drooling... I am attractive.
2. Brian, coming in to find me in said position.
The time:
Evening. Harry Potter is nearly over.
Brian: “You know, it seems like a lot of work to get Harry into this tournament and try to make him win. Wouldn’t it be a lot easier if Voldermort just made a portkey out of one of his Playboys or something?”
Wouldn’t it indeed.
In an unrelated note, he also asked the following:
“You know its 10:30, right? What are you going to do when school starts and you can’t just sleep all the time?”
To which I responded, “I don’t know WHAT you are talking about,” rolled over, mumbled something else about ice cream and/or kittens and drooled some more.
In an unrelated (but still related to the first note) note, Daniel Radcliffe’s hair was seriously JANKED UP in HP4.
Thank god he cut that shit.
Disclaimer: Brian is a great fan of all the Harry Potter books (after I brought him into civilized society by making him read them last year). Don’t send him hate mail for allegedly not appreciating J. K. Rowling’s genius.
Our living room, last night.
The players:
1. Me, on the couch in my underwear watching Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire on ABC Family, passed out due to massive amounts of Mexican food and red wine; possibly drooling... I am attractive.
2. Brian, coming in to find me in said position.
The time:
Evening. Harry Potter is nearly over.
Brian: “You know, it seems like a lot of work to get Harry into this tournament and try to make him win. Wouldn’t it be a lot easier if Voldermort just made a portkey out of one of his Playboys or something?”
Wouldn’t it indeed.
In an unrelated note, he also asked the following:
“You know its 10:30, right? What are you going to do when school starts and you can’t just sleep all the time?”
To which I responded, “I don’t know WHAT you are talking about,” rolled over, mumbled something else about ice cream and/or kittens and drooled some more.
In an unrelated (but still related to the first note) note, Daniel Radcliffe’s hair was seriously JANKED UP in HP4.
Disclaimer: Brian is a great fan of all the Harry Potter books (after I brought him into civilized society by making him read them last year). Don’t send him hate mail for allegedly not appreciating J. K. Rowling’s genius.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)