SHARKTOPUS

Tonight Brian and I found ourselves drawn to a movie on the SyFy* Channel that promised “a giant aquatic beast on a blood-soaked killing spree.” It was called Sharktopus. Of course, we had to investigate.

The movie starts out with the typical, bikini-clad female swimming in the ocean. Suddenly a triangle fin ominously appears. “Look out!” yells her also-bikinied friend. “A shark!”

Me: “That’s just a shark. Where’s the 'topuss?”

But THEN, the regular shark is eaten by the WORST cgi I’ve EVER seen the SHARKTOPUS!!!!! Dun dun DUNNNN!!

More highlights included: SHARKTOPUS jumping 50 feet out of the water to snatch bungee jumpers! SHARKTOPUS walking on land! SHARKTOPUS eating VW bugs whole!

And the acting was just… well, let's just let the trailer speak for itself:



Seriously. You made this movie for a dollar, SyFy. And you overpaid.

* It was pretty much the dumbest move ever for SyFy to attempt to rebrand themselves by just spelling SciFi like douchebags.