awkward intern

Today is my last day of my summer internship. It was a good experience overall, something to keep me busy but that I rarely had to take home to work on overnight, something to get me published here and there without being too stressful, something to get me class credits while also being flexible enough to allow me to take off when I needed to be there for Tait at her wedding or visit my parents.

All truly great. There was just one liiiiiiittle thing.

Several different factors have combined to create the PERFECT STORM of awkwardness at this job.

First and foremost, the room is layed out super awk. There is a main part, and then I'm off in this little weird side nook blocked by a huge bookshelf. Which means I can hear but not see the two females that work in the same room. This makes me feel like I am constantly eavesdropping and also makes it very difficult to enter smoothly into conversation. Awkward.

Secondly, for about a week when I first began working, two of the people who work in my room and the Accounts Executive often discussed ads, coming up with different ways to make them dirty double entendres. I found this hilarious – however, could there be a more awkward thing to just jump in on a joke about? Especially when I'm just this random disembodied voice around the corner? And they only met me two days ago? So instead, I just awkwardly and quietly sat there, typing away.

I also don't really fit with any particular social group in the office. The people I am closest to in age (although they are all a bit older) are all longer-term, paid employees. I, on the other hand, am an unpaid intern [see: slave labor]. The rest of the unpaid interns are in high school, and when they aren't filing or being sent on assignments or making copies or whatever, they are clustered about giggling and facebooking. Yet I am still considered an intern, same as them. Being the only intern older than Justin Bieber = awkward.

Another issue: the fact that my computer tower is, for some unexplained reason, on the floor. But the cord connecting the keyboard to the tower is really short, so the tower has to be pulled really far forward - in fact, directly where my knees SHOULD go. This causes me to shift a lot, trying to find a comfortable position to look at the screen/type on the keyboard. So then I'm the awkward, fidgety intern.

Then, things get quiet a lot when everyone digs into their work, so I tend to put my headphones in and listen to music on my phone. Of course, as soon as I do, everyone else starts chatting again and I'm suddenly awkward and anti-social.

Another another issue: When I need a break from staring at the computer screen, I can either look at the white wall a foot to my left (ugly and not very interesting) or into the rest of the room to my right. Obviously I choose to stare off to the right, into the main part of the room and out the windows (which, in true city fashion, give us a fabulous view of the windows of the building right next to us). However, I fear that gazing in this direction makes Evan, the co-worker whose desk is the only one in my field of vision, think I am constantly staring at him. Awkward stalker intern.

And then there are the times another co-worker, Alex, comes in and chats with the other girls around the corner (this occurs pretty often). Randomly they will go from speaking at a normal volume to whispering almost inaudibly to each other. I'm sure they aren't talking about me though... right? RIGHT?? I swear I'm not paranoid and awkward.

In what might be the worst one, I get really thirsty at work, so I am often getting up to re-fill my water bottle. Unfortunately, this makes me also have to get up to hit the ladies' room pretty often too. I'm pretty sure my co-workers believe I have bladder issues (in addition to being obsessed with Evan). Extra awkward.

Finally, there are even some things that are awk but (surprisingly) not caused by me:

1. One of the wireless internet networks my phone picks up is called "PlunderBunny." What does that mean?! Actually, I don't want to know.
2. On days when I'm not here, another intern uses my desk/computer. Some of the things I have found in the recent Google searches include "how to remove corns on toes," "are scones bad for you," and "what size should women be." She also spends a good bit of time on Facebook it appears.
3. It is freezing in the office to the point where I wear normal clothes to commute here but pack a cardigan, jacket AND scarf in my purse. This is not okay.

So with that, farewell internship. Every awesome, yet awkward, bit of you.