missing Millsaps

Lately I've been thinking about Millsaps. A lot.

I miss the instant access of having all my best friendys at my fingertips. For four years I only had to go next door, down the hall or at the most to a building 100 feet away in order to spend time with all my favorite people.

Every weekend was a party (often involving costumes, heaven). Every meal was a chance to catch up with my friends. Every class was an opportunity to exchange thoughts and opinions with people that I respected.

Tait was always there to watch Harry Potter and craft and drink wine. Bonnie was always there to work out, hit the caf, procrastinate in the English house or get dolled up together. Molly was always there to pre-party for any and every occasion. So many friendys meant so many different things to me it would be pointless to try to name them all individually. CMO was there to dance and gossip and laugh. Kappa Delta was there for swaps, formals and post-chapter dinners. Lambda Chi Alpha was there for parties, games and movie nights. Of course Brian was always there, for everything.

And he still is. I love that we get to have this Boston adventure together. I love that we get to figure out how to be adults (and sometimes rebel against adulthood) together.

But that doesn't mean I don't miss the other parts of my old life.

I enjoy BU and I like the friends I've made, especially through being a TA, and I really want to get better at my chosen field... but sometimes I think perhaps I should have taken a gap year or two. It's really weird, and hard too - unexpectedly so - to be technically in college but to feel so disconnected from the whole experience. I think if I had a year in between the feeling wouldn't be so... raw. At Millsaps we worked hard, but we played hard too. Having such close friends around made the work seem easy - or if not easy, then easier. The absence of those connections here makes the work feel so much harder, even when its not.

Then again, I've heard from others that going straight into grad school and knocking it out is the best way to do it. So maybe its just a grass-is-greener kind of thing. Which just makes me think of KD, and the wave of nostalgia washes over me again. Sigh.