the Littlest Playboy Bunny

On Sunday, as usual, Brian and I curled up to watch Mad Men, where the men took their lunch break at the Playboy Bunny club (you know, like you do). There were a lot of interesting bits of the scene, but what I loved most was seeing the old school Bunny outfits. They recalled fond memories of the time I dressed as a Bunny for Halloween..

When I was two and a half years old.

My parents picked it out.
 
Actually, my mom tells me, "Your dad borrowed the outfit from someone at work I think. He thought it was cute." Nothing cuter than Hef's girls, eh Dad?

Okay, okay, I don't think they were going for a Playboy Bunny exactly. But the combination of a black leotard, sheer tights, ears and a white fluffy tail (sans bunny nose or whiskers or other little kid things) just kind of ended up looking like I should be practicing the Bunny Dip when picking up my juice box.

But damn I was ADORABLE (and Daniel aka Leonardo wasn't too bad either - check out the form on that ninja stance):

I already don't know what to do with my hands.

(Too bad my awkward stage began approximately three weeks after that photo was taken and continued for 75% of my life thus far.)

SHARKTOPUS

Tonight Brian and I found ourselves drawn to a movie on the SyFy* Channel that promised “a giant aquatic beast on a blood-soaked killing spree.” It was called Sharktopus. Of course, we had to investigate.

The movie starts out with the typical, bikini-clad female swimming in the ocean. Suddenly a triangle fin ominously appears. “Look out!” yells her also-bikinied friend. “A shark!”

Me: “That’s just a shark. Where’s the 'topuss?”

But THEN, the regular shark is eaten by the WORST cgi I’ve EVER seen the SHARKTOPUS!!!!! Dun dun DUNNNN!!

More highlights included: SHARKTOPUS jumping 50 feet out of the water to snatch bungee jumpers! SHARKTOPUS walking on land! SHARKTOPUS eating VW bugs whole!

And the acting was just… well, let's just let the trailer speak for itself:



Seriously. You made this movie for a dollar, SyFy. And you overpaid.

* It was pretty much the dumbest move ever for SyFy to attempt to rebrand themselves by just spelling SciFi like douchebags.

adventures with kittens: Penny Pisspants

So for a while after Chris and Taylor visited, Penny had some issues… let’s just say they were of the type to earn her the nickname Penny Pisspants. Luckily (and fingers crossed and knock on wood) she seems to have gotten herself under control and is now using the litter box again for all such bodily functions.

Actually, now lil Penny has fully entered the playful–destructive stage. Being as she is still fairly wee, I’m not too concerned. Her ravaging has mostly been contained to napkins, random toy bits, pens and string. But it is hilarious to watch her leaping through the air, battling savagely against three inches of napkin, only to become startled when we make any noise and go tearing off into the next room.

But there's also this:

 

We're trying to keep her out of the boozes so as to keep her Pisspants days behind us.

flying V!

So my section of Communications 101 (the one I teach) is D4, which always makes me think of The Mighty Ducks whenever I say it or write emails or whatever because I am convinced if they ever made a fourth  movie to expand the iconic 90's trilogy it would inevitably be called D4: ICE SHOWDOWN or D4: DUCKS LAST FLIGHT or something equally terrible/awesome like that.

(It's kind of like how whenever I talk about WALL STREET: MONEY NEVER SLEEPS, which I totally want to see, I have to say it in the type of voice you reserve for all-caps type things). Say it now. WALL STREET: MONEY NEVER SLEEPS. I know you used the voice.

Okay, also:

Can you honestly tell me you don't think those bubble gum bubbles are positioned a little awkwardly over Emilio Estevez's junk? They look like little buttcheeks... or boobs... or overly large balls. Inapprop. (Sorry Mom and Dad.)

cute old man quotes

So all of my journalism teachers are short, stout, gray-haired, vaguely Irish and very Bostonian old white guys who have been journalists since the good old days.

My favorite of these three men is the shortest, the squattest and tends to come to class in a power suit and a power tie, (power) suspenders and his glasses on a chain around his neck. 

Add to that an uncanny ability to imitate people and Kyle Doherty’s super dry, wry way of delivering jokes. I have taken to writing down some of the more memorable quotes, to share here:

(After a student introduces herself as from San Diego)

“Let me tell you my impression of San Diego. You can’t find a place in the city that’s not nice and lovely and perfect… for homeless people.”

(After suggesting he spike his tea with whiskey for the next class)

“My wife doesn’t want me to drink anymore. She thinks people over 70 shouldn’t drink.” 

(pause)

“I’m thinking of getting rid of her.”

“Do you guys know [insert classic old movie here]?”
….crickets
“Damn I hate young people.”

(After another teacher stops in and asks to borrow some AV equipment)

“I never say no to an Israeli because they’ll just take it anyway.”

He actually told us not to quote him on this one… whoops.

He tells us all sorts of stories from his days as a journalist, which were pretty illustrious. In one class he can take us from Vietnam, to Moscow, to the heyday of ABC news or NPR’s copy room, to South Lebanon and back. One story today involved a situation where he was approached by someone who wanted a story to run on ABC, until less than an hour later the head of the CIA came by to ask him not to run it.

Secretary: Mr. Zelnick, [insert name of CIA head honcho here] would like to see you, can I send him up?

Zelnick (with much self-importance but a twinkle in his eye): Hmm.. Yes, I happen to have a few minutes available.

LOVE. HIM.

BESTIES IN BOSTON BONANZA 2010

Last weekend the Awwads hit Boston and the ensuing bestie-fest involved an abundance of inappropriate conversations (both in person and via various social media), overindulgence of alcohol, terrible-for-you-(but ohso delicious)-food at absurd hours of the morning, and just a splash of touristy awkwardness.

Our behavior could be summed up in one word: undergrads.

            

Some unnamed snarky snarkmonster allegedly asked “Do they know they’re not in college anymore?”

Just wait, snarky snarkmonster. Ask that again when you’ve graduated.

If I had to do any period of my life over again, it would be college, no doubt. And I probably wouldn’t change much. College was the best time of my life. I would make the same choices, because they led me to the best friends I could ask for.

But if I had any one wish, I wouldn’t wish to just do college over. I would wish… well I guess I would wish for world peace so everyone didn’t think I was a total asshole. But if I had one selfish wish, I would wish that all my and all my favorite people’s chosen homes – Boston, NYC, Bradenton, Jackson, D.C., Memphis, Dallas, etc. – were all in the same state (a small one… more like Massachusetts than Texas). I just wish the amazing times from college could continue uninterrupted into adulthood. I wish we could have more weekends like this.

we are terriers!!

let's see if we remember how to do this...

besties 4 lyfe

grad school is not college

Across the street from our apartment is a freshman dormitory, where for the past several days, freshmen have been trickling in with their playstations and laundry hampers and extra-long sheets. Millsaps is already in full force, as evidenced by all the Facebook stati ("Toga! Toga!," "on the fourth day god created foam parties," etc).

I miss college.

Because as much as I'm attending college through my graduate program, I am not in college. I feel entirely separated from these leeetle freshmen buzzing around about what to wear to rush parties and how they like totally didn’t do the reading last night and "omg so then he texted ‘nice pants’ and I was like ‘what does that mean’ and he's totally flirting amIright???"

Although, I don’t so much miss that. Or this:

(an actual overheard conversation)
Promotional girl at giveaway stand: Want some [insert product name here]?!?! It’s a recovery drink, loaded with everything you need to get over a hangover!!
Freshman boy and girl: Sure!
Freshman girl to freshman boy: Now we HAVE to get drunk, you know, so we can test it out.

Ahhhh, yes. The days when we needed excuses to drink.

Millsaps vs. BU

Since I've been here in Boston, I've spent a lot of time admiring the huge beautiful school buildings with what I imagine are state-of-the-art classrooms and photoshop labs and other delicious things inside. But today I was reminded why Millsaps is still superior to big fancy schools with endowments and multiple majors and buildings that aren't falling down and such luxuries. Please compare with me.

My professor/boss introduced herself to her TAs today with the following:

"You should always call me Dean Smith*, Dr. Smith (as I do have a PHD), Professor Smith (as I am the main lecturer for this course), or some combination of those. What matters is that the freshman should never, ever think it is acceptable to call me Jane. There is a hierarchy that must be maintained."

And she's probably right. With 425 little pain-in-the-ass freshman under her tutelage, she needs some respectful distance. But at Millsaps things are different. Millsaps professors don’t give a rip about such “hierarchy.” They would never blink an eye at being called Anne, Sandra or Curtis. Or, for that matter, MacMac or the Griffster or some other ridiculous nickname.

I also can’t quite imagine Dean Dr. Professor Smith carrying on this conversation:

Me: (as I alphabetize daily Heritage response papers) “Hey Griff, do you actually read these things?”
Dr. Griffin: “Sometimes I do. One time a student wrote, ‘Fuck you, Griff, I know you don’t read these!’ and I took it into class, showed it to all the students and said “FUCK YOU YES I DO!’”

*names have been changed in the hopes that I don't lose my job