With absolutely no ado, here we go!
6:05 – Choice between TV Guide and E! for the red carpet. Going with E! for now. Ryan Seacrest asks terrible questions but at least there isn't that annoying scrolling part at the bottom.
6:11 – It is absurd how LITTLE Melissa Leo looks like her character from The Fighter in real life. I still have nightmares about that hair.
6:13 – Hello Mila Kunis' boobs! I love her. I want to see more of her dress, because it looks like there is a high likelihood of nip-slippage.
6:20 – Penny has decided that she needs to be on my lap (but under the quilt, she’s so weird) which, while deliciously warm and snuggly, is making typing more difficult.
6:23 – I LOVE HAILEE STEINFELD.
6:24 – She looks really cute too. And age appropriate. And her responses are great. UGH I love her.
6:26 – Okay it looks like there are some lacey nip covers on Mila Kunis.
6:27 – Brief glimpse of Amy Adams. Give me your hair, girl.
6:28 – I almost didn’t recognize Mandy Moore. She looks GOOOOD. I love the dress. But I am secretly a magpie and therefore covet anything sparkly.
6:32 – Not loving the giant Christmas ball ornaments Mandy is wearing for earrings though.
6:32 – Oh what it must be like to be Russell Brand’s mom.
6:33 – HA. “Perhaps I’ll kiss you.” Russell is so weird.
6:34 – Kelly Osbourne literally could have an entire beehive under that hairdo. I… don’t hate it?
6:35 – Michelle Williams always seem a little sad. But pretty. And her hair rocks. Does she sound a bit British or is it just me? I need a sandwich… That was one of the most awk interviews yet.
6:38 – Amy Adams just told Seacrest, “It’s not that hard for me to find the feistiness.” REDHEADS FOR THE WIN. Also her character was my favorite part of The Fighter.
6:41 – @TheOnion and @tomandlorenzo – best Oscar tweets to follow, for totally different reasons.
6:43 – Back to Amy Adams. I really really love the dress (SPARKLYYYYY), but I’m not loving the necklace.
6:47 – Penny has moved back down to my feet, making typing about 124% easier but keeping me from making myself a sandwich during the commercials.
6:50 – Kelly and Giuliana are a super odd couple.
6:52 – Giuliana just sounded SO judgy about Florence Welsh and her dress. Florence has more talent in her bangs than you do in your whole, overly tanned body, G. Chill.
6:56 – I need a sandwich break, but I don’t want to miss anything good. Especially if it involves a closeup of Cate Blanchett’s dress.
7:03 – Turkey sandwich, cool ranch Doritos and a whiskey/7up. Oscar dinner of champions… [cracks knuckles] Let’s do this.
7:04 – Don’t worry, I ran in and saw Cate’s dress. And then I read a tweet that said, “Cate Blanchett's boobs are wearing a picture frame. God love her. I know I do.” YES. (tweet by @fuggirls)
7:06 – Penny is now trying to eat my sandwich. I can’t shoo you off and type at the same time, kitten! Watch the pretty dresses.
7:07 – Twilight. Musical. Moment. Not okay.
7:09 – Okay, now I just read something that said, “CATE BLANCHETT, WHY ARE YOU WEARING A PORTHOLE ON YOUR CHEST?” Cate’s dress is already the best thing happening tonight. (via Una LaMarche’s Huffington Post liveblog)
7:10 – E! desperately needs some less annoying and less judgmental hosts. Kelly can stay but Giuliana and Ryan gots to go. Hire me, E!
7:15 – I just found a picture of Scarlett Johansson’s dress and it kind of reminds me of this wallpaper in the Art of the Americas wing at the Museum of Fine Arts here in Boston. That's not really a bad thing. It's just a thing.
7:18 – “I missed it because I had to take my children to school.” Helena Bonham Carter says this like she’s not talking about the moment her movie became the BEST MOVIE OF THE YEAR.
7:21 – Ugh rambling interview between Seacrest and Hillary Swank. Move on and show me something – like COLIN on the premises!!! Hello Colin!
7:22 – I don’t know who Jennifer Lawrence is, but I kind of like her easy breezy red dress. Although it looks like she’s sucking it in the whole walk down the carpet. Also, it reminds me of Emma Stone’s sherbet Calvin Klein dress, which I LOOOVED. So in comparison this just seems… less. But still good.
7:24 – CELINE!! She looks awesome. Just the other day Brian and I had a conversation about Celine Dion and how her power ballads will NEVER go out of style (well that was my point, he had a different view). Also, why is Celine here but didn’t show up at the Olympics in Canada last year? I kept waiting for her…
7:27 – Halle Berry: a) can’t walk in that dress, b) appears as though an angry cat got to the skirt, and c) meh.
7:29 – I already need to outlaw the word “awesome” from this liveblog.
7:30 – Reece Witherspoon’s hair looks like a) some clip on extensions I had in middle school, b) a Barbie’s and c) GREAT.
7:31 – I normally don’t care much for Penelope Cruz or what she wears, but that dress is fabulous. Red AND sparkly. Also, boobs.
7:37 – Christian Bale was incredible in The Fighter but his beard tonight is less so. He totally sounds like his British accent is fake, because I’m so used to him playing Americans.
7:41 – I like Gwyneth’s dress, except for the weird belt bit. I clearly need to pay more attention to Calvin Klein.
7:50 – Mark Wahlberg just said, “The movie will walk away with at least two.” That seems pretty cocky. Right? Also he referred to his wife as the “statue” he’s “already won.” No thank you.
7:57 – Natalie Portman seems like she is choosing her words carefully, perhaps in order to prevent another crazy laugh heard round the world? Or maybe she took a bunch of Benadryl before hitting the carpet. Probably not though, she’s pretty pregs. I am becoming less enchanted with her as time goes on. The color of her dress is pretty though.
8:00 – Alright, peace E! Over to Tim Gunn, who I love way more than anyone on E! There are less shots of the dresses on ABC though… and are the colors off? Natalie Portman’s dress looks a totally different color here. Ooooh! I just noticed her tassle earrings. Approve. She still seems super out of it though.
8:06 – Brian just brought me chips and dips. I knew there was a reason I love him.
8:08 – Brian also just emailed me an article entitled, “Cats Adore, Manipulate Women.”
8:14: They are talking to all the same people as E!, so here’s some random notes I couldn’t type fast enough the last two hours: 1) I hope my boobs look as awesome as Helen Mirren’s do when I’m her age. Also, I hope I have the brass to show them off when I’m her age. 2) I haven’t gotten to see a closeup of Anne Hathaway or Annette Benning yet, but both look beautiful from afar. 3) I don't think Jesse Eisenberg will ever not look 16 years old. 4) I STILL love Hailee Steinfeld.
8:24 - Why is Halle Berry talking like that?!!?
8:29 - My tentative Best Dressed list (until I see all the dresses in all their glory and/or shame tomorrow): Mila Kunis, Hailee Steinfeld, Cate Blanchett, Mandy Moore and Colin Firth (of course).
Here we gooooooooo!
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