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Sunday, February 27, 2011

Oscars 2011 Ceremony Liveblog

8:34 – Hee, the skit won me over in the True Grit scene. “I loved you in Tron.” Also, Anne is knocking it out of the park with the accents here.

8:36 – Okay, the skit lost me again on the Black Swan scene.

8:38 – Anne has the shiniest hair, y’all. Dress: meh.

8:39 – Between this and her SNL appearance, Annie sure is riding the whole “naked” thing reallllllly far.

8:40 – Haha the mom/grandma bits are cute. Also, you know they are so pumped to be on TV right now.

8:43 – Oh Tom Hanks, you are fabulous.

8:45 – Alice in Wonderland wins Art Direction! I actually never got around to seeing Alice. I think I was abroad when it came out? Regardless, I bet on it in the office pool (Brian’s office pool), so I’m undefeated so far!

8:47 – I bet on Inception too! I am going to RUN THIS SHIT.

8:51 – First standing O of the night. I hope for the sakes of all the ladies in difficult dresses, there aren’t as many as the State of the Union.

8:52 – HA. James DOES look much better out of the cave. And its cute how flattered Anne seems to be. Unless she’s just a much better actress than I previously thought.

8:55 – “Hugh Jackman is laughing. I don’t know why every Australian thinks I’m funny. Colin Firth isn’t laughing, he’s British.” What does that even mean? I still love this old son of a gun though. He is making the most of his moment, that is for sure.

8:59 – Melissa Leo really was great in The Fighter. I wanted to punch her character literally every time she came onstage – Wait, did she just drop an F-bomb?! Anyway, the character immersion and dedication was great. BUT I still wanted Hailee Steinfeld to win, so boo Melissa. Also, her speech was rambly and then got super intense. WHAT. Hailee’s speech would have been MUCH BETTER.

9:01 – “I’m Banksy.” WHAT.

9:04 – The intros are pretty lengthy tonight.

9:06 – Penny is back on my lap and I'm typing to the side. Apparently the article Brian sent (“Cats Adore, Manipulate Women”) about cats controlling their female owners is true.

9:06 – Mila Kunis rocks. “It would be cool if I was Banksy, right?” – Timberlake. “No.” – Kunis

9:12 – Sometimes I wish I lived in the 20s… except, you know, for the impending world war and all.

9:13 – WHAT are these matching tuxes? They weren’t wearing that before… Right? They look like cater waiters.

9:16 – Brian is dying though these speeches.

9:17 – I really like the presentation of the Best Original Screenplay category, with the text (handwritten and/or type-writer type) overlaid on the clips.

9:19 – Yay for The Social Network and The Kings Speech for Best Adapted and Original Screenplays! Brian and I both LOVE these movies. We rented Social Network and thought it should win everything until we saw The King’s Speech the next day in theatres and immediately jumped ship to S.S. Firth.

9:24 – HAHAHA. I love a good Broadway tribute, especially one that calls a fellow Hollywood actor a “jackass” and references “fake retractable claws.” Also, did I know Anne Hathaway could sing so well?!?

9:25 – Bon soir to you too, Helen!! You sound very sophisticated. Hahaha I love Russell Brand. “My Oscar-winning turn as a Queen was better than Colin Firth’s turn as a King!”

9:30 – Okay, truth time. I am not running this shit in the office pool as I earlier asserted. But I’m hanging in there. I need Geoffrey Rush to win here but I am scared about Christian Bale taking it from me…

9:32 – Damn! Okay, Bale was good, I’ll give him that. But I needed this win. Also, Melissa will clearly not live down that F-bomb all night.

9:34 – Interesting infomercial for DickEklund.com in the middle of Bale’s acceptance. And apparently I missed him forgetting his wife’s name?

9:41 – Loved Anne’s mini-change with the lady tux and sparkly shoes. As for her third look – like the dress, dislike the hair and necklace. Also, just tweeted: "I know a lot of people dislike Anne Hathaway, but I gotta say, she is kind of running this show. And she is very articulate." Word.

9:43: The Best Original Score category is extremely well presented too. Love the orchestra onstage and the intro leading into it.

9:47 – That entire intro was just awk from top to bottom. Also, McConaughy is orange and Johansson’s eyes are doing crazy things.

9:50 – Yay Inception! Your sounds were great, apparently.

9:55 – “Congratulations, nerds.” James sounded a little too used to saying things like that. Anne sounded a little too used to giggling at dudes who say things like that.

9:56 – “That’s gross.” HA. Love Cate Blanchett. And loved the way she pretty much literally swept up to the microphone (I totally just typed "microwave," by the way).

10:00 – Aw, the costume design winner is really awk in a cute way. I don’t even think she can hear the “get off the stage” music she is so deep in her notecard. I definitely need to see Alice in Wonderland.

10:05 – Aw, Mandy looks pretty again! LOVE the color.

10:12 – I feel like Jake Gyllenhaal is talking directly to me about the office pool. I haven’t seen any of the shorts and I totally guessed on the ballot.

10:14 – But I got it right!

10:16 – AFRO ALERT.

10:17 – I’m not going to lie, this Harry Potter autotune song is AWESOME!!

10:18 – This whole thing is great. The Toy Story 3 and The Social Network songs were tremendous as well (look, I used a word other than “awesome”!). Also Brian just said (regarding the Twilight song), “That’s true, it’s so awkward that he’s always just sitting around with his abs flexed.”

10:20 – Just saw a tweet that said, “Oprah Boobfrey.” I couldn’t have said it better myself.

10:21 – I like the fringe, Annie. You are saying approximately 87 words per every one of James’. But everyone is tweeting that he is stoned, so I appreciate you stepping up to the plate.

10:31 – Robert Downey Jr and Jude Law are kind of matchy-matchy too. Also, was that story true?! They have great chemistry.

10:41 – SNL already did the “Winter’s Bone” joke, James. But the “How to Train Your Dragon” bit was acceptable.

10:43 – I need a better look at Anne’s new dress (is this #4?), but I like the color a lot.

10:43 – Not sure what this song is, but Florence Welsh has a great voice and I approve of any redhead who defies tradition to wear firey orange.

10:44 – Brian just said, “Uh, woof.” Then he took the remote and changed the channel to ESPN. Gwyneth was the first thing all night he couldn’t take.

10:46 – AS IT SHOULD BE. Randy Newman and Toy Story are classic.

10:48 – What? Is Randy really mad that only four songs were nominated? That was a pretty awk moment.

10:52 – Brian: “Damn this thing lasts a long time.” I’m just glad Celine is here singing to me.

10:54 – “Oh, this is the death montage” - Brian. Yep.

11:01 – Ooh a new outfit! And hairstyle! Blue! (The dress, not the hair). I didn’t even get a good look at the red one. My eyes are starting to glaze over. I can only imagine how many caffeine pills Annie is having to pop backstage to keep up her pep.

11:04 – “The triangle of man love” is definitely the best line of the night. Yay Tom Hooper and The King’s Speech! LOVED IT.

11:05 – Aww, and that was definitely the most genuine mom shout-out too.

11:09 – Okay, most important question of the night: How do I get Anne Hathaway’s eyelashes!?!?

11:11 – HELLO THE DUDE.

11:13 – I love how Jeff Bridges addresses the nominees directly. It seems so genuine. “Annette, Nicole, Jennifer, Natalie, Michelle”

11:17 – I really hate it when one person sweeps the award season for one role. Congrats Natalie and all, but I just want to spread the love around, you know?

11:18 – I approved of her speech until she was super awkward while referencing her fiancé and forthcoming child AGAIN. Maybe she wouldn’t feel so awk bringing him up in public if he hadn’t been living with his (non-Natalie Portman) girlfriend when they started dating/babymaking?

11:20 – Ooh Sandy is following Jeff’s lead. “Javier, hola.” "Jeff, dude. You won last year. How much is enough?" (Ha!)

11:25 – COLIN FIRTH OF COURSE. No one else can touch him.

11:28 – Even the “get off the stage” music bows down to Firth. Love him.

11:32 – Anne’s last (presumably) dress: Love the sparkles, hate the quasi-turtleneck thing.

11:33 – Colin/The King’s Speech is the voiceover for the entire Best Picture category presentation. How can it NOT win?

11:36 – The King’ Speech wins for Best Picture and BRIAN WINS THE OFFICE POOL!!!!!!!! Guess who is going out to eat this week!?!?! (Yep, it’s us.)

11:38 – On a closer look, this is definitely the worst of Annie’s looks tonight. Major fug. What are her boobs doing?!

11:39 – As soon as the kids started singing, Brian said, “Okay I’m changing it now.” Off to basketball we are!

11:40 – I’m tired, y’all. Liveblogging is hard (I know, woe is me, I chose to do this to myself). It clearly tired Penny out, who spent the majority of the show a) asleep on my lap, b) asleep on my feet, or c) trying to steal my highlighter. Congrats to all the winners, everyone who actually read all my blathering and I can't wait to cover the next big event!

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