sealed with a... pee

Of all the things I remain bitter about regarding my undergraduate experience (and there are really only two, or perhaps two and a half, but I make up for the low number with the fervor of my unending bitterness), the worst offense is that I graduated in a megachurch.

See, Millsaps seniors traditionally graduate in a big green grassy area known as the Bowl (named for its gently sloping sides, not for what is sometimes smoked there by students... and occasionally teachers). It is a treasure to behold.

I don't remember whose Twitter I saved this from, but I hope its okay that I use your photo skillz...

And in the center is The Seal of Millsaps College. What is neat about The Seal (and the Bowl in general) is that on the night freshmen are formally inducted into the college, they process through the Bowl and across The Seal before taking their seats. And then, four years later, they make the same procession in front of god and everybody to receive their diploma.

Like most colleges, there is an urban myth that if you step on The Seal as an undergrad, you won't graduate. But ours is clearly superior because of our matriculation/graduation tradition.

A lot of people didn't really care about such silly myths, but a good portion of the campus avoided stepping on The Seal. I, being a sucker for tradition, meticulously circumvented it even in my stumbliest trips back to the dorm. For four years, I didn't put a single toe on The Seal so that on graduation morning, I would be ready to feel its full glory.

Unfortunately, it came to be that around 3:00 a.m. on graduation morning the skies opened up and let loose torrents of water, and I awoke to lightening and an email saying graduation had moved to the rain location.

Which was a megachurch.*

There was a lot of 6:00 a.m. bitching with my roommate Tait and continued bitterness throughout the morning, particularly after it stopped raining and turned into basically the most perfect Bowl weather imaginable about an hour before commencement (too late to switch the location back).

There was only one tiny ray of light in the change: that I got to hear what remains one of my favorite quotes from college. As we were getting dressed and bitching and doing our hair and bitching, Tait finally just burst out, "I want to graduate where we peed!"

See, a couple weeks earlier, after passing comprehensive exams and therefore finishing essentially all the hard work required of a second-semester senior, Tait and I packed a backpack full of PBR and went out to the Bowl late one night to sit by The Seal, drink and reminisce. It was a great night. But you know what happens with beer, and eventually we needed to take care of some pressing needs. However, it being some obscure hour of the wee morn (wee, ha!), all the buildings were locked. So we did the classy thing and took turns going off behind a giant tree to the side of the Bowl. And then we laughed and drank some more.

And come graduation day, Tait's outburst pretty much perfectly, succinctly summed up why the Bowl represents so much of the Millsaps experience.

But we didn't graduate where we peed. We graduated in a megachurch.

And since I moved out and away the day of graduation, I never got to go back to visit the Bowl or to step on The Seal to make it official.

This is not me. This is Brian. Of course HE got to graduate in the Bowl.  Jerk.

All this is on my mind because I realized today that I went ALL the way back to Millsaps for Founder's Day weekend and FORGOT TO GO STEP ON THE SEAL. Y'all. I still have not stepped on that thing. At this rate I'm going to have to go stand on it in my wedding dress or something.

Which only makes me want to say, "I want to get married where we peed!"


* I don't mean to offend churches or religion here. Just megachurches, which are an eyesore and whose largeness makes it impossible to form true community and generally makes me itch.