cute old man quotes

So all of my journalism teachers are short, stout, gray-haired, vaguely Irish and very Bostonian old white guys who have been journalists since the good old days.

My favorite of these three men is the shortest, the squattest and tends to come to class in a power suit and a power tie, (power) suspenders and his glasses on a chain around his neck. 

Add to that an uncanny ability to imitate people and Kyle Doherty’s super dry, wry way of delivering jokes. I have taken to writing down some of the more memorable quotes, to share here:

(After a student introduces herself as from San Diego)

“Let me tell you my impression of San Diego. You can’t find a place in the city that’s not nice and lovely and perfect… for homeless people.”

(After suggesting he spike his tea with whiskey for the next class)

“My wife doesn’t want me to drink anymore. She thinks people over 70 shouldn’t drink.” 

(pause)

“I’m thinking of getting rid of her.”

“Do you guys know [insert classic old movie here]?”
….crickets
“Damn I hate young people.”

(After another teacher stops in and asks to borrow some AV equipment)

“I never say no to an Israeli because they’ll just take it anyway.”

He actually told us not to quote him on this one… whoops.

He tells us all sorts of stories from his days as a journalist, which were pretty illustrious. In one class he can take us from Vietnam, to Moscow, to the heyday of ABC news or NPR’s copy room, to South Lebanon and back. One story today involved a situation where he was approached by someone who wanted a story to run on ABC, until less than an hour later the head of the CIA came by to ask him not to run it.

Secretary: Mr. Zelnick, [insert name of CIA head honcho here] would like to see you, can I send him up?

Zelnick (with much self-importance but a twinkle in his eye): Hmm.. Yes, I happen to have a few minutes available.

LOVE. HIM.

Millsaps vs. BU

Since I've been here in Boston, I've spent a lot of time admiring the huge beautiful school buildings with what I imagine are state-of-the-art classrooms and photoshop labs and other delicious things inside. But today I was reminded why Millsaps is still superior to big fancy schools with endowments and multiple majors and buildings that aren't falling down and such luxuries. Please compare with me.

My professor/boss introduced herself to her TAs today with the following:

"You should always call me Dean Smith*, Dr. Smith (as I do have a PHD), Professor Smith (as I am the main lecturer for this course), or some combination of those. What matters is that the freshman should never, ever think it is acceptable to call me Jane. There is a hierarchy that must be maintained."

And she's probably right. With 425 little pain-in-the-ass freshman under her tutelage, she needs some respectful distance. But at Millsaps things are different. Millsaps professors don’t give a rip about such “hierarchy.” They would never blink an eye at being called Anne, Sandra or Curtis. Or, for that matter, MacMac or the Griffster or some other ridiculous nickname.

I also can’t quite imagine Dean Dr. Professor Smith carrying on this conversation:

Me: (as I alphabetize daily Heritage response papers) “Hey Griff, do you actually read these things?”
Dr. Griffin: “Sometimes I do. One time a student wrote, ‘Fuck you, Griff, I know you don’t read these!’ and I took it into class, showed it to all the students and said “FUCK YOU YES I DO!’”

*names have been changed in the hopes that I don't lose my job