from my mind grapes: meeting Susan Orlean

Finals week nearly broke me. Last last Monday, after only two hours of sleep and about twenty hours of writing one of my courses met for the final class at the professor's favorite bar. I was already drunk with sleeplessness, so you can imagine how I was after a pint of Bud Light... And I still had 28 more hours until I finally turned my last story.

BUT. I'm done now. Actually I was done Wednesday, May 4th at midnight (or Thursday morning, I suppose that would be more accurate), but I've been far too busy napping and forcing Penny to snuggle with me and watching 51 episodes of 30 Rock on the iPad over the past week and a half to blog.

I really haven't known what to do with myself now that I have free time. Okay, that's not true. I know what I should be doing with myself (cleaning, dishes, applying for jobs, etc). But since I don't want to do those things, I haven't known what to do. Or at least what to do first (should I nap then watch mindless TV, or watch mindless TV then nap???). I am very, very excited to have free time and to do things that I want to do without feeling horribly guilty about whatever school thing I'm neglecting to do so. Notably reading. I have been amassing so many books over the past year that I have not had any time to read.

I even got three brand new books in the last week of school, all signed! Y'all. For a nerd like me, signed books are like crack. Especially when they are by SUSAN ORLEAN. Who is Susan Orlean, you may ask? Let me illuminate.

The weekend before all my finals were due, BU hosted their annual Narrative Nonfiction Conference. It was quite possibly the worst timing in the history of the universe, but I went anyway, because a) one of my professors helped organize it and strongly encouraged his students to go (by "encouraged," I mean in class one morning he told us all to stop what we were doing and go RSVP so we could snag the few free student tickets bring offered) and b) there was free food, but also because c) I'm a huge nerd and I love conferences.

It ended up being totally worth it despite losing a day and a half of work because I got to see, listen to and meet one of my writing idols, acclaimed nonfiction novelist and writer for The New Yorker Susan Orlean. (...Sort of meet, at least.)

If you don't know who Susan Orlean is, here are some reasons she is awesome and I want to grow up to be her or at least play her in the movie version of her life*:
1) she is an incredible writer
2) she's a ginger
3) she's smoking hot at 56
4) she tweets more than I do
5) she's incredibly enthusiastic, funny and smart
6) did I mention she's an incredible writer?

There were some other amazing speakers too, like Gay Talese (prolific writer as good now at 79 as he was at 24 - or perhaps vice versa), Isabel Wilkerson (author of the book that the nonfiction narrative world is collectively peeing their pants over, The Warmth of Other Suns) and Jill Abramson (managing editor of The New York Times, aka the holy text of our people).

But Susan was the one I was the most excited to see. And she did not disappoint, with the most honest and useful and entertaining keynote of the conference.

And then after all the panels and keynotes and readings of excerpts, there was a reception with awesome cheeses and wine (again, worst timing ever; all events with free alcohol should be held at least two weekends before finals, don't they KNOW that?!) and book signings.

Which brings me to meeting Susan Orlean. She signed my book!

I told her she inspired us students to persevere through our finals! Note: Figuring out what to say at a book signing is seriously the most awkward thing ever.

I (and two other students) took a picture with her!

The guy taking the photo told us we looked "really good" standing behind her like that. I'm pretty sure he doesn't know the difference between "really good" and "incredibly awkward."

We legitimately look like we are stalking Susan Orlean and we just jumped into the background of a solo photo she was taking at the signing table.

But whatever, this is what it looked like in my head anyway:

please note the BFF bracelets Suze made us

Dear Susan,
Please never stop being an awesome redhead. I can't wait to read the book you signed for me. Also please don't put me on some kind of security blacklist for this post, I promise I'm not dangerous.
Love,
Kathleen


* The movie version of her REAL life, not the fictionalized craziness of The Orchid Thief.

Me, the brand

I spent a significant portion of the weekend and almost all of today working on building a website and professional portfolio. It is the final project for my Multimedia Journalism class, and it's one of the most useful assignments ever. I need these things for future job applications and to get my name out there anyway, but having it be an assignment gives me a deadline and the motivation to make it really good. It will be published in about a week and then you can find it at www.kathleenmmorrison.com* (hire me!).

Next step after the website? My own cereal. 

Anyway, it's weird to write about myself so much in such a clinical, professional way. It's worse than a resume (which I have also re-done in the past week, in addition to LinkedIn). And it's been weird trying to figure out what is important to include, especially when it comes to linking to my other online ventures. I wrote some months ago about how new age journalists have to have a significant online and social media presence, which is great, except it also needs to be "clean" and professional, which is not.

I've back and forth for a long time about what to do about my Twitter and Facebook accounts, as well as this blog. I still am not totally sure what to do. A classmate of mine solved the problem by making a "fan" page of himself – you know, the ones you 'like' instead of 'friend.' I don't think I'm quite at that level yet, especially when I only have four online clips to my name.

The thing is, I actually have something to show that I can produce a lot of content on a fairly regular basis -  including text, photos (many of them spruced up or changed entirely via Photoshop), links, opinions, dialogue, a custom layout and more.  It's right here. This blog.

Unfortunately, I don't know if my accounts of Penny's adventures or my inner feelings or the latest ridiculous thing on the internet is really up to par to put on my fancy schmancy, gonna-show-it-to-potential-employers website.

Which makes me sad because I like this blog. I like a lot of things I've written on it. And even the posts I think could have turned out better are an opportunity to figure things out about my writing. Which, as I keep having to remind myself, is why I started this thing in the first place.

So even though my Facebook and personal Twitter are going to stay private, I'm keeping this blog public. I like having my thoughts out there to be read. I like seeing what paths strangers take to stumble upon one post or another (a lot of people have been finding me lately by googling various things about Maine Coons – although one person searched for "Men Coon" which is pretty hilarious to imagine as a real thing). This is the writing I look forward to after the hard, intense struggle to find the right words for a professional feature or profile or news bit. If potential employers happen to find it and are offended, well, I probably don't want to work with someone that uptight anyway, right?

And for anyone keeping track, after my website goes live, my online presence will include:
a) Facebook
b) two Twitter accounts - my personal one and a newer, professional one
c) this blog
d) LinkedIn
e) a professional website
f) a professional portfolio - basically articles, etc. that I've written, compiled in a blog
g) YouTube
...plus, of course, all those random non-social media accounts like eBay and Beluga and StumbleUpon and various online shopping venues.

Jesus, that's a lot of me out there.

* Deciding on that domain name is actually the first time I've really struggled with the whole changing-your-name bit of marriage, but that's a story for another post.

WTF, world - Airport Security is Not Rape

The other day I read an op-ed piece by a woman in Alaska absolutely railing against airport security. She described her experience with TSA as being "gate-raped." She said she sobbed as a security woman felt her stomach and under her bra band, calling it sexual assault. She compared the new full-body scanners ("Nudie Scanners," she said) to legalized porn.

The first time I read the article, I was taken aback by the (absurd, I immediately thought) claims she was making. Then I read it a second time and thought some more... I don't want to say that I think this woman is ridiculous, because she also wrote that earlier in her life she was a victim of rape and I believe that is one of the most harrowing, horrible offenses a person can go through. I fully realize I have no clue what damage her rapist did to her psyche. Rape terrifies me. It is probably my biggest fear, and I know so many women who would say the same thing.

Which is why I don't get it. I don’t understand why this woman would undermine her shattering experience by equating it to airport security procedures. Airport security procedures are not rape.

I did some digging because I’ve heard all the rumors about the new full-body scanners, but I didn’t actually know what image the operator sees when you go into one. By “digging,” of course, I mean I googled it. And actually, the images are more graphic than I thought – or at least some of them are. They range from pretty detailed (with nipples, buttcracks and genitals fairly clearly outlined) to very fuzzy/abstract with really no private parts visible. It seemed like generally though, the faces were all fuzzy; I don’t think the scanner really goes over the face. So it’s hard to know what those machines are actually capturing.

The last time I flew, I was told to go through one. I went in, raised my arms, waited a minute and then stepped out when I got a nod from the uniformed woman supervising. I honestly didn’t feel violated in any way. A much bigger deal – and not even really a big deal then – was the time I got stopped because two rings in my purse (they were double-finger rings lying next to each other) apparently looked like brass knuckles when they were scanned.

But okay, I can understand someone not wanting to feel like an unknown person in another part of the airport can see his or her body outlined. That’s fine.

No, what angers me is the extreme vernacular of the extended rape metaphor and the sense of appall/entitlement the author seems to feel. As if the security guards had no right to subject her to... the same security measures that pretty much everyone goes through. Measures that are designed to keep us safe, no less.

I can’t tell if the author exaggerated, either in her own memories or in her writing, the treatment she got. To me, the officers seem like they are just doing their job. They took her to another room out of the main security area when she got hysterical and they told her exactly what they were doing ("I'm going to touch your stomach now") rather than just patting her down, willy-nilly. Yet she uses the word “molested” in reference to what they did. Huh?

When Brian and some friends flew from back to the U.S. from the Middle East after spending five weeks volunteering there one summer, the Israeli airport security didn’t just scan their bags, they opened every single one and looked through the items in it. The patting-down process was much more intense than anything in American airports. It took them two full hours to get through security.

Intense? Sure. But the Israeli national airline has never had a plane hijacked.

I also looked into the author’s other articles on the Anchorage Daily News’ website. I didn't want to stereotype this Alaskan woman, just because another Alaskan woman with a penchant for extreme language has been popping up everywhere for the past three years. But then I found another article written by her that began with the words: "I miss Sarah Palin. Not the post-nomination, self-serving, political opportunist who has become an embarrassment to many Alaskans. Rather, I miss the governor who had 85 percent approval ratings. I miss the 'Wally Hickel' glint in the eye of a governor who stood in the sanctity of 'Owner-State.'”* So okay, she is clearly Republican and, although she at least has the sense to see what Palin has become in the media-soaked last few years, she still expresses an affinity for her ideals.

Bleh.

The most ridiculous part was that the author wrapped her tirade up with, “It's been almost 10 years since 9/11. I was 'gate raped' by my government, and Osama Bin Laden is still at large.”

What?! Bin Laden organized the most successful terrorist attack VIA PLANE in American history. TSA is intense because Bin Laden killed thousands VIA PLANE. As in what you are about to board, that kind of plane. If these scanners – “nudie” or not – keep a terrorist off the next plane I or my loved ones board, then I will gladly be scanned or patted down or have my bag searched for brass knuckles.


* The rest of the article was behind a paywall and I definitely wasn’t about to fork over money to read it, so I don’t know what sentiments were expressed past the opening paragraph.

sensationalism, or why American news sucks

Poor Michelle Obama. This morning she appeared on the Today Show (along with a dog that knows over 1,000 words and Russell Brand - what a motley crew) and while I felt that her answers were predictably PR, I found Matt Lauer's questioning to be bordering on the absurd. Maybe it wasn't Lauer's fault - he probably didn't write the questions and he wasn't the originator of some of the ideas he asked about. But he still asked them.

Lady O was supposed to be appearing to talk about the "Let's Move" campaign, which is a year old now (correct me if I'm wrong on that). Lauer mentioned school lunch legislation for about a second before bringing up the supposed hypocrisy she is accused of for initiating and promoting "Let's Move" while also allowing buffalo wings, beer, burgers and more to be served at the White House Super Bowl party. NOT BUFFALO WINGS AND BEER. Good god, anything but buffalo wings and beer!! Apparently people are equating this to the Obamas saying drugs are bad and then stuffing a kilo of cocaine up each nostril.

WHY IS THIS NEWS?!?! Encouraging healthy eating in schools and raising awareness about the dangerous levels of childhood obesity does not mean you are shackled into a life of only eating celery sticks. There is no hypocrisy here. Michelle and her family are all healthy and in shape. If they want to have buffalo wings and beer on the one day when it is basically un-freaking-AMERICAN to do so, they can!! (Except Malia and Sasha of course, on the beer).

Speaking of the first daughters, Lauer also had this to say:

Matt Lauer: I was thinking, I was trying to do the math here a second ago—if your husband is fortunate enough to win reelection, that's six more years in the White House for your family. Sasha will be 15, Malia will be 18, she'll be ready not only to leave the White House, but to leave the house. This is their only childhood, and I know you've said to me in the past that you're making it as normal as possible, but you don't get a re-do. At the end of six years, you can't go to someone and say, now I want to re do this in a quieter and more private way. Does that concern you?

DUDE. Chill the hell out. Lauer makes it sound like the girls are growing up next to an active crackhouse, or worse - as a tween star on the Disney Channel (see: Miley). Sure, Sasha and Malia are experiencing an untraditional childhood but they aren't losing their childhood. There are millions upon millions of young girls in horrible living situations, who don't have enough to eat or a safe place to live or the comfort of a real family. THE OBAMA GIRLS HAVE BARBIES IN THEIR IMAGE. They are going to be okay.

Ole Matty also brought up the fact that the girls aren't allowed to be on facebook, per the Secret Service. OH MY GOD THEY ARE SO DEPRIVED HOW WILL THEY EVER LIVE OR BE NORMAL OR EVEN EXIST???

All of this, on the heels of the brouhaha Oscar de la Renta kicked up about Michelle choosing to wear a non-American designer (Alexander McQueen) to the gala for the Chinese president (GOD FORBID the most stylish First Lady since Jackie O wear a designer who isn't you, Oscar), is just absurd.

Let's talk about issues, people. Let's not talk about buffalo wings and beer.

we are living in a technological world and I am a technological girl

I've been thinking a lot about the crossover - and in many ways, takeover - of the communication world lately.

For example, I use and/or consume books, magazines, tv, newspapers, smartphones, facebook, twitter, blogs, etc - and most of them all in one day! I am clearly a social media guru.

(Brian lovingly suggested that social media whore might be more precise, but that's neither here nor there).

But in this time of too much information becoming the only acceptable amount of information, where is the line? When do you cross it? Does it even exist?

Fellow (former) BU journalist and one of Brian's favorite sports guys, Bill Simmons, recently wrote a great article about a potential side effect of all this communication crossover for professional journalists.*

I think we live in a cool time. Cool, but scary. Things are changing and fast. I remember a time when people didn't have cell phones. I remember when we got our first family computer and when the Internet entered (and changed) our lives. I remember when facebook was founded (and only for college students), and every permutation it has undergone since.

The scary part, besides the whole "big brother is watching" element (a post for another day), is that kids five years and especially ten years younger than me don't have any idea what life is like without their own personal phone attached to their hand and their own personal computer attached to their lap (see two posts ago). They don't know what life is like without the immediate gratification of the Internet or the constant social feedback of facebook, twitter, etc.

When I was little, if I wanted to interact with my best friend, I called her house phone from my house phone and make plans to meet up for the afternoon or a sleepover. Then I'd go to her house, or she'd come to mine, and we'd play. In person. I hardly ever call my friends on the phone anymore. It's all texting and email and gchat and heytell and the occasional skype. Do kids today play the same way I did? I can't imagine they do.

In Communication 101 lecture today we conducted an experiment to see how many televisions people have. Out of 425 + freshman students, almost all of them had at least four tvs at home. Three students had 9, 10 and 11 tvs in their homes - all for families of four people or less. I find this terrifying.

I also read an article today in the New York Times about toddlers essentially becoming addicted to their parents' iPhones, which are used as entertainment, teaching tools and an easy way to pacify a fussy baby. I find this terrifying too.

Now, I am guilty of all the sins of technology - taking it for granted, being a little too attached to my computer and smart phone, checking my twitter compulsively even in company (it's so rude, I know, but I can't stop!), and of course the aforementioned social media overload.

And I think its awesome that I can blog and tweet and put my pictures on facebook. I enjoy sharing my thoughts with my friends. That I can keep up with people in Mississippi, New York, Oregon and more (even across the sea in Ireland) through technology. My career will more likely than not depend on me using multiple media in this way.

But I can't help but think there is a trade off somewhere along the line. Can't help but think these changing times are cool... but scary.

* So should I tweet about this post? A tweet about a blog post inspired by a different blog post about a tweet. How meta. 

cute old man quotes

So all of my journalism teachers are short, stout, gray-haired, vaguely Irish and very Bostonian old white guys who have been journalists since the good old days.

My favorite of these three men is the shortest, the squattest and tends to come to class in a power suit and a power tie, (power) suspenders and his glasses on a chain around his neck. 

Add to that an uncanny ability to imitate people and Kyle Doherty’s super dry, wry way of delivering jokes. I have taken to writing down some of the more memorable quotes, to share here:

(After a student introduces herself as from San Diego)

“Let me tell you my impression of San Diego. You can’t find a place in the city that’s not nice and lovely and perfect… for homeless people.”

(After suggesting he spike his tea with whiskey for the next class)

“My wife doesn’t want me to drink anymore. She thinks people over 70 shouldn’t drink.” 

(pause)

“I’m thinking of getting rid of her.”

“Do you guys know [insert classic old movie here]?”
….crickets
“Damn I hate young people.”

(After another teacher stops in and asks to borrow some AV equipment)

“I never say no to an Israeli because they’ll just take it anyway.”

He actually told us not to quote him on this one… whoops.

He tells us all sorts of stories from his days as a journalist, which were pretty illustrious. In one class he can take us from Vietnam, to Moscow, to the heyday of ABC news or NPR’s copy room, to South Lebanon and back. One story today involved a situation where he was approached by someone who wanted a story to run on ABC, until less than an hour later the head of the CIA came by to ask him not to run it.

Secretary: Mr. Zelnick, [insert name of CIA head honcho here] would like to see you, can I send him up?

Zelnick (with much self-importance but a twinkle in his eye): Hmm.. Yes, I happen to have a few minutes available.

LOVE. HIM.