odds and ends: movin on up

Welcome, friendys, to a new weekly semi-regular installment on ye olde blog intended to justify my random web surfing introduce cool internet thingz to my readers.

This week's post is brought to you by the movie Up. Mainly because I found the first two and then it just seemed neat to do a theme... I maintain the right to revoke the themes and just post random shit at any time.

But Up seems like a great place to start. Disney/Pixar movies are all pieces of art, but Up literally makes me sob every time. In a good way. Just hearing the music I kind of well up a little. That old man! He's so in love!! All I want in life is to have something as real as that. And yes, I know I'm talking about a cartoon.

ANYWAY, onwards. This is super cool. It's all over the internet, so you might have seen it, but the Nat Geo Channel (a staple in any home Brian resides in) is starting a new series called "How Hard Can it Be?" and they just made a house fly through the air, Up style. Amazing. I love how those weather balloons look all together. However, I want to know how they landed the thing!

And, since I'm on a wedding binge, here is a wedding who used the movie as their inspiration. Scroll down to check out the cake, it's the best part!

Etsy always provides a plethora of AWESOMENESS. Like these cupcake toppers! This random painting! And this Adventure Book! Ugh how cute would the Adventure Book be for a wedding guestbook or photo book? Cute enough to punch something, that's what.

The internet is so cool, you guys.

adventures with kittens: the dark side

Ninety percent of the time I couldn't love Penny more. She is inarguably the cutest, furriest, sweetest, funniest and most playful tiny thing around.

But the other ten percent of the time, she does things like this.

She ate through THE ENTIRE STRAP. And I can't even find the piece that's missing. Utter destruction.

That bitch.

...Okay, so I can only stay mad at her for approximately eight minutes. But for those minutes, she better NOT show her face around me.

of cleaning and comas

I've always been messy. No matter how hard I tried growing up, my room was looked like an explosion of toys, shoes, homework, clothes and what I called "projects." Twenty years later, not much has changed. Well, the toys are different. (Not like that! Get your mind out of the gutter.) Anyway, I try, I really do. But somehow the clothes don't quite make it back in the closet and the papers get stacked up on the desk and before I know it, there is shit everywhere and I don't know what happened.

It has been especially difficult in our wee Boston apartment because, besides the bedroom closet (which is overflowing with thingz), there isn't any storage space. We've had to get really creative with putting stuff out of sight but eventually there was only so much we could do. Combine that with the facts that there's no air conditioning system in our building (i.e. no air flow up in here, i.e. dust gathers like crazy) and that Penny gets a sick joy out of rubbing her long luxurious fur on EVERY SINGLE SURFACE IN THE HOUSE, well, we found ourselves living in an apartment laden with piles of stuff everywhere, all covered in dust bunnies and cat hair. Oh, and did I mention we don't have a dishwasher? Cool.

Anyway, this is a super longwinded way of explaining why I am awake and blogging at 1:00 a.m. (and on a school night!!! Whatttttt???) See, Brian and I decided to tackle the house today. Five sets of dishes washed, four loads of laundry done and folded, an entire bathroom scrubbed and reorganized with a brand new cabinet thingamajig, seven pictures hung on the walls, countless clothes picked up and hung up, two trips to the dumpster and one giant, heavy duty air purification filter machine set up and running later and it seriously feels like we are living in a whole new apartment.

Then we decided to reward our hard work with beer, spinach artichoke dip and beef & Guinness stew (aka the comfort food of kings) at the pub down the road.

Then we came back to the house and promptly fell into an epic food coma at 8:30 p.m.

Except then we woke up after two hours and couldn't fall back asleep. So now Brian is studying and Penny is sleeping on more stuff she shouldn't be and I am blogging.

Seriously you guys, we live the craziest life. The party never stops around here. Twenty-somethings shutting it DOWN, twenty-four/seven. It should be illegal how young and crazy and out of control we are.

I should probably go to bed.

spring's all that

In the city, spring is kind of like that really hot chick who was just utterly fugly as a child. I'm talking bad teeth, terrible haircut and maybe she even smelled weird, like stale crayons or something. Then one day, bam. All the boys want to take her to homecoming.

(Why yes, I did try to reference terrible hot teen makeover movie She's All That in my title. Thank you for noticing.)

Here me out: Most people would probably say spring is the prettiest season, what with the green and the flowers and the tiny baby animals everywhere.* However, if you live in an urban climate that gets any reasonable amount of snow, the transition from winter to spring is easily the nastiest, ugliest time of the year. 

actually this doesn't look THAT bad... but just wait

Think about spring turning to summer. Life gets hotter, different plants crop up, everything seems brighter. Or summer to fall: the leaves turn gorgeous colors, the air gets crisper... Even fall to winter is beautiful in a stark way. 

But winter to spring? By this point, with no new snowfall to renew the white blanket, all the snow has turned a gritty, black-flecked (and likely pee-filled) hue of gray. Worse, garbage that has literally been frozen for months is being unearthed for the first time since November as the snow/ice melts. Instead of snowing, it rains, which just creates huge, trash filled puddles in between the slush that still remains. 

if only more people hadn't missed the can in the fall...

So yeah, spring. Girl's got a great personality – even these mid forty-degree days we've been having feel amazing – but she's still stuck firmly in her awkward years. I can't wait for her to lose the braces, finally discover clothes that flatter her (secretly bangin' all these years) body and get a really good haircut. I wonder if Freddie Prinze, Jr. is doing anything right now...


* I'm more of a fall/winter girl myself but I see their point.

alien brides and jungle cats

You know, searching for THE DRESS is hard enough without crazy photoshopped alien models wearing the dresses you are trying to picture yourself in.

This woman is assuredly very thin and statuesque in real life, but her "legs" are over twice as long as her upper half (Which is now her upper third? See my helpful illustration). PEOPLE ARE NOT MADE LIKE THIS.

To prove my point, I have added another model to compare. I used their heads/arms to make them as close to the same size as possible. Please observe:

Alien lady has at least another foot under her! The scariest part is that the "normal" sized model is probably still ridiculously tall and a size zero-two. People aren't even made like her. I JUST WANT TO LOOK AT A DRESS AND KNOW WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE ON A HUMAN HERE PEOPLE.

Just to drive the point into the ground offer another example (one of tons):

However, if there is one practice I am in FULL support of, it's taking your bridals with a wild baby jungle cat.

Hands up if you think Brian will still be willing to marry me if I recreate these pictures with Penny?

Yeah, that's what I thought too.

frattin' is a habit

Brian and I just spent an absurd amount of money on two plane tickets to Jackson, Mississippi and – even though my bank account weeps – I could not be happier. I love Boston and really feel like this is our home now, but Jackson the first home I knew as an adult and it’s the place I met nearly all of my best friends and I haven’t seen it since May and I CAN’T WAIT.

We are heading back in a few weeks for his fraternity's Founder's Day weekend, which means we will spend two days wearing jorts (a delicious feeling that will be after this long and snowy New England winter), drinking beers, eating crawfish and generally reliving college.

this will be in my tummy so soon

Brian’s fraternity has a special place in my heart because during my junior year, they made me one of their sweethearts. It’s a pretty big deal and really very romantic; Brian had to propose it to his brothers and they voted, there was a secret ceremony and I get to wear their jersey with my own number on it. Each fraternity member (they are Lambda Chi Alpha) gets a zeta number when they are initiated, so my number is Brian’s half number: 1246 ½ – cue the awwwwws, ladies.

yeah, none of these people are Brian...
but apparently we never took good pictures together while I was wearing my jersey

They call the ceremony “dropping” which sounds like a) something nasty a bird does on your favorite sweater, or b) the guy is dumping his lady in a horribly blunt manner. This led to several versions of the same conversation, in which I would excitedly say the Brian dropped me and the other person would would try to comfort me for my loss.

Anyway, getting dropped would have been a gigantic honor no matter what, but it happened right after I had received a pretty big rejection – one that I’m not 100% over and probably will always be a little bitter about – and it made me feel special all over again and gave me a place that I always felt at home. So what if that place was a beer-stained fraternity house? It was especially nice to have all my “brothers” to hang out with when Brian graduated and we spent a year doing the long-distance thing. The LXAs always made me feel like I belonged there, even though Brian was a million trillion (or however far New Hampshire is from Mississippi) miles away. They became some of my best friends and I really think of some of the freshmen when I was a senior as the little brothers I never had.

See you soon, brothers!


EDIT: I would like to add that as soon as I published this post, the ad on the "it's now published" page said "Alcohol Abuse Problems?"... It really IS like college!

Oscars 2011 Ceremony Liveblog

8:34 – Hee, the skit won me over in the True Grit scene. “I loved you in Tron.” Also, Anne is knocking it out of the park with the accents here.

8:36 – Okay, the skit lost me again on the Black Swan scene.

8:38 – Anne has the shiniest hair, y’all. Dress: meh.

8:39 – Between this and her SNL appearance, Annie sure is riding the whole “naked” thing reallllllly far.

8:40 – Haha the mom/grandma bits are cute. Also, you know they are so pumped to be on TV right now.

8:43 – Oh Tom Hanks, you are fabulous.

8:45 – Alice in Wonderland wins Art Direction! I actually never got around to seeing Alice. I think I was abroad when it came out? Regardless, I bet on it in the office pool (Brian’s office pool), so I’m undefeated so far!

8:47 – I bet on Inception too! I am going to RUN THIS SHIT.

8:51 – First standing O of the night. I hope for the sakes of all the ladies in difficult dresses, there aren’t as many as the State of the Union.

8:52 – HA. James DOES look much better out of the cave. And its cute how flattered Anne seems to be. Unless she’s just a much better actress than I previously thought.

8:55 – “Hugh Jackman is laughing. I don’t know why every Australian thinks I’m funny. Colin Firth isn’t laughing, he’s British.” What does that even mean? I still love this old son of a gun though. He is making the most of his moment, that is for sure.

8:59 – Melissa Leo really was great in The Fighter. I wanted to punch her character literally every time she came onstage – Wait, did she just drop an F-bomb?! Anyway, the character immersion and dedication was great. BUT I still wanted Hailee Steinfeld to win, so boo Melissa. Also, her speech was rambly and then got super intense. WHAT. Hailee’s speech would have been MUCH BETTER.

9:01 – “I’m Banksy.” WHAT.

9:04 – The intros are pretty lengthy tonight.

9:06 – Penny is back on my lap and I'm typing to the side. Apparently the article Brian sent (“Cats Adore, Manipulate Women”) about cats controlling their female owners is true.

9:06 – Mila Kunis rocks. “It would be cool if I was Banksy, right?” – Timberlake. “No.” – Kunis

9:12 – Sometimes I wish I lived in the 20s… except, you know, for the impending world war and all.

9:13 – WHAT are these matching tuxes? They weren’t wearing that before… Right? They look like cater waiters.

9:16 – Brian is dying though these speeches.

9:17 – I really like the presentation of the Best Original Screenplay category, with the text (handwritten and/or type-writer type) overlaid on the clips.

9:19 – Yay for The Social Network and The Kings Speech for Best Adapted and Original Screenplays! Brian and I both LOVE these movies. We rented Social Network and thought it should win everything until we saw The King’s Speech the next day in theatres and immediately jumped ship to S.S. Firth.

9:24 – HAHAHA. I love a good Broadway tribute, especially one that calls a fellow Hollywood actor a “jackass” and references “fake retractable claws.” Also, did I know Anne Hathaway could sing so well?!?

9:25 – Bon soir to you too, Helen!! You sound very sophisticated. Hahaha I love Russell Brand. “My Oscar-winning turn as a Queen was better than Colin Firth’s turn as a King!”

9:30 – Okay, truth time. I am not running this shit in the office pool as I earlier asserted. But I’m hanging in there. I need Geoffrey Rush to win here but I am scared about Christian Bale taking it from me…

9:32 – Damn! Okay, Bale was good, I’ll give him that. But I needed this win. Also, Melissa will clearly not live down that F-bomb all night.

9:34 – Interesting infomercial for DickEklund.com in the middle of Bale’s acceptance. And apparently I missed him forgetting his wife’s name?

9:41 – Loved Anne’s mini-change with the lady tux and sparkly shoes. As for her third look – like the dress, dislike the hair and necklace. Also, just tweeted: "I know a lot of people dislike Anne Hathaway, but I gotta say, she is kind of running this show. And she is very articulate." Word.

9:43: The Best Original Score category is extremely well presented too. Love the orchestra onstage and the intro leading into it.

9:47 – That entire intro was just awk from top to bottom. Also, McConaughy is orange and Johansson’s eyes are doing crazy things.

9:50 – Yay Inception! Your sounds were great, apparently.

9:55 – “Congratulations, nerds.” James sounded a little too used to saying things like that. Anne sounded a little too used to giggling at dudes who say things like that.

9:56 – “That’s gross.” HA. Love Cate Blanchett. And loved the way she pretty much literally swept up to the microphone (I totally just typed "microwave," by the way).

10:00 – Aw, the costume design winner is really awk in a cute way. I don’t even think she can hear the “get off the stage” music she is so deep in her notecard. I definitely need to see Alice in Wonderland.

10:05 – Aw, Mandy looks pretty again! LOVE the color.

10:12 – I feel like Jake Gyllenhaal is talking directly to me about the office pool. I haven’t seen any of the shorts and I totally guessed on the ballot.

10:14 – But I got it right!

10:16 – AFRO ALERT.

10:17 – I’m not going to lie, this Harry Potter autotune song is AWESOME!!

10:18 – This whole thing is great. The Toy Story 3 and The Social Network songs were tremendous as well (look, I used a word other than “awesome”!). Also Brian just said (regarding the Twilight song), “That’s true, it’s so awkward that he’s always just sitting around with his abs flexed.”

10:20 – Just saw a tweet that said, “Oprah Boobfrey.” I couldn’t have said it better myself.

10:21 – I like the fringe, Annie. You are saying approximately 87 words per every one of James’. But everyone is tweeting that he is stoned, so I appreciate you stepping up to the plate.

10:31 – Robert Downey Jr and Jude Law are kind of matchy-matchy too. Also, was that story true?! They have great chemistry.

10:41 – SNL already did the “Winter’s Bone” joke, James. But the “How to Train Your Dragon” bit was acceptable.

10:43 – I need a better look at Anne’s new dress (is this #4?), but I like the color a lot.

10:43 – Not sure what this song is, but Florence Welsh has a great voice and I approve of any redhead who defies tradition to wear firey orange.

10:44 – Brian just said, “Uh, woof.” Then he took the remote and changed the channel to ESPN. Gwyneth was the first thing all night he couldn’t take.

10:46 – AS IT SHOULD BE. Randy Newman and Toy Story are classic.

10:48 – What? Is Randy really mad that only four songs were nominated? That was a pretty awk moment.

10:52 – Brian: “Damn this thing lasts a long time.” I’m just glad Celine is here singing to me.

10:54 – “Oh, this is the death montage” - Brian. Yep.

11:01 – Ooh a new outfit! And hairstyle! Blue! (The dress, not the hair). I didn’t even get a good look at the red one. My eyes are starting to glaze over. I can only imagine how many caffeine pills Annie is having to pop backstage to keep up her pep.

11:04 – “The triangle of man love” is definitely the best line of the night. Yay Tom Hooper and The King’s Speech! LOVED IT.

11:05 – Aww, and that was definitely the most genuine mom shout-out too.

11:09 – Okay, most important question of the night: How do I get Anne Hathaway’s eyelashes!?!?

11:11 – HELLO THE DUDE.

11:13 – I love how Jeff Bridges addresses the nominees directly. It seems so genuine. “Annette, Nicole, Jennifer, Natalie, Michelle”

11:17 – I really hate it when one person sweeps the award season for one role. Congrats Natalie and all, but I just want to spread the love around, you know?

11:18 – I approved of her speech until she was super awkward while referencing her fiancé and forthcoming child AGAIN. Maybe she wouldn’t feel so awk bringing him up in public if he hadn’t been living with his (non-Natalie Portman) girlfriend when they started dating/babymaking?

11:20 – Ooh Sandy is following Jeff’s lead. “Javier, hola.” "Jeff, dude. You won last year. How much is enough?" (Ha!)

11:25 – COLIN FIRTH OF COURSE. No one else can touch him.

11:28 – Even the “get off the stage” music bows down to Firth. Love him.

11:32 – Anne’s last (presumably) dress: Love the sparkles, hate the quasi-turtleneck thing.

11:33 – Colin/The King’s Speech is the voiceover for the entire Best Picture category presentation. How can it NOT win?

11:36 – The King’ Speech wins for Best Picture and BRIAN WINS THE OFFICE POOL!!!!!!!! Guess who is going out to eat this week!?!?! (Yep, it’s us.)

11:38 – On a closer look, this is definitely the worst of Annie’s looks tonight. Major fug. What are her boobs doing?!

11:39 – As soon as the kids started singing, Brian said, “Okay I’m changing it now.” Off to basketball we are!

11:40 – I’m tired, y’all. Liveblogging is hard (I know, woe is me, I chose to do this to myself). It clearly tired Penny out, who spent the majority of the show a) asleep on my lap, b) asleep on my feet, or c) trying to steal my highlighter. Congrats to all the winners, everyone who actually read all my blathering and I can't wait to cover the next big event!